Random Thoughts

"To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music the words make." Truman Capote Carol O'Dell Yesterday I felt poopy. As the day wore on, I felt even poopier. If asked I'd be hard pressed to tell you if I was angry or sad. Probably some of both. And, even though I explored the why's of the feelings, I couldn't figure it out. Instead, I just went to bed. I was asleep by 8:30. Today was a different story. I felt energized and connected. It was writing group day. There's just something about being with these woman that makes me happy. That's not to say that I've always been happy when I'm with them. But that doesn't seem to matter. They let me be however I am. There's something so freeing about that. And validating ... which also happens to be my word for what I get out of writing. Even when I haven't written anything. Along with my blog buddies this group of talented writers is (goofy as it s...

"No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap." Carrie Snow I'm not usually very good with assignments. Like exercising or dieting, an assignment is something I know I should do, but before I get started on it, I have to dig in my heels and whine a little. Yesterday at our writing group Carol told us of a good workbook to help stimulate writing [How to Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci by Michael Gelb] One of the author's suggestions was to jot down 100 questions you have about your life. 100 questions in 30 minutes. 100 free associative questions that don't have to have answers at the moment. The whole point is to get the questions down on paper. We didn't have time for a hundred so Carol asked us to write down 5. Here are mine ... Why am I so angry? How can I get my $$$s in order? How can I be more compassionate in the face of fear? How can I get to Seattle and Key West more often? How can I get more sleep? Good Lord, a few more questions like that and I...

"Let’s laugh to the point of tears– not laugh at each other but at life and all it throws our way." Carol O'Dell It's almost 11:30 on a Sat. morning. The house is eerily quiet - peaceful. The dog has refused to go outside or eat breakfast because Dad is still asleep. I know I should go back and check on him. I should at least stand at the door and see if the covers are moving up and down with his breathing. But right now, I'm kind of reveling in the solitude. If he's asleep he can't say anything mean to me and if he's dead ... well, God forgive me, it won't matter if I let him lie there for a few more minutes while I prepare myself for what comes next. I remember one day from years ago, when my mom was still alive. I slept upstairs and kept my own schedule - sort of. Usually Dad got up before, or with Mom. I know he thought he was protecting her (from what?), doing right by her, but I also know she enjoyed the quiet morning time to herself. She cou...

" A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. " Robert Orben After a whole post around the word "ubiquitus" I thought I was on a roll; that I'd finish up the alphabet and this month of letter postings and be able to move on to .... what? Numbers? I didn't realize it would be so difficult to write about V. Last Saturday I was caught between a "v"olley of "v" words. Like listening to a tennis match and hearing the thwack of the racket against the ball, then the swoosh of the ball over the net and it's kathunk as it hit the ground, for a few intense minutes I was caught in "v"eritable firefight of v's. My sweetie and my daughter were on a roll and I didn't have a pen to write the words down. Velocity, victim, voodoo, vagina, (No! I've already written about genitalia, I'm not going to resort to my own Vagina monologue! For this I'm sure you are grateful!) Vishnu, venial, Viking .... What they...

"That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along." Madeleine L'Engle At the same time I was complaining about having no inspiration, I was reading a book that was clearly inspiration just waiting to be realized. It just took me a couple of days of pondering to figure it out. Mothering Mother by Carol D. O'Dell is the author's story of caring for her 90 year old mother who suffered from Parkinson's disease with a couple of years of Alzheimers thrown into mix to keep things interesting. It's a great book and should be on every caregiver's bookshelf. Coincidentally, O'Dell lives here in Jacksonville. When she wrote about walking along the river to clear her head, I imagined she was just down the street. Feeling like we were neighbors who could wave to each other on the occasional outing, made her story even more recognizable somehow. Not that it was difficult to believe what the auth...