Thursday, September 6, 2012

Random Thoughts

Ed. Note: Today I am going back to my blogging roots. Having no idea what I'd have to say on a blog, I decided to just put down thoughts at random, as they came to me. I've been thinking of changing that name to something else, but haven't quite hit on the right something yet.

I went to the dentist this morning. One half of my face is still anesthetized. I can feel my tongue waking up. I've only dribbled on myself once. My father and I used to have a running argument over dentists in general, and often our personal dentist in particular. Dad thought dentists were just out to get your money.  Well, duh! But my side of the argument was that as medicine has evolved and become way more technical, requiring lab tests and x-ray procedures of all kinds, so has dentistry. New ways of doing things costs more and dentists have to feed their kids too. Balderdash, he'd respond. (Actually, I don't think  my father ever said balderdash, but I'll leave it at that.)  Dad never thought twice about seeing a specialist for what ailed him, and undergoing whatever procedure was suggested.  But, if he'd been me last week and gone in for a cleaning and came out with a bill for $166.00 and a "treatment plan" to the tune of $600.00 and then some, I think he might have pulled whatever teeth he had left himself and not ever step foot in a dental office again. I'm not ready to go toothless.

There were times Dad argued with me just for the sake of arguing. And if I'm honest, I suppose I took disagreements to a limit farther than they needed to go on occasion.  On this one, I am beginning to think my father had the right attitude.  The problem is I have no dental insurance.  Even though I've heard it only covers a small portion of the bill, I sure would have liked sharing my bill with someone else.

And my point is, (in case you were wondering) I think the Novocaine has jostled up my synapses, so I've got lots of thoughts that really don't go together.  Thus, I've traveled right back to where I started... Random Thoughts.

1. The dentist.
I have no reason to dislike my dentist. He's young, polite and pleasant enough. I guess he does good work because I haven't had any problems since seeing him. I think I prefer my old (and older) dentist who had a personal interest in most of my silver fillings that are now cracking with age and wear and need to be replaced by said young whippersnapper because he put them in and probably never imagined they would have lasted 45 years.  I liked his Dr. Welby-ness. Maybe paying an exorbitant price for a porcelain filling wouldn't hurt so much if you're greeted with, "Hi, what's new, you're looking good, how's your mother" Southern chattiness rather than, "Hi, that'll be X number of dollars, please pay now so we can get started."  I can see the new guy's point. Paying up front prevents people from getting a new tooth and running out the back door. Still, I prefer the old-timey approach.

2. Depression.
After I got home,  I wrote a note to a FB friend who's having a hard time, right now with depression.  Imagine that! Me, the Queen of Depression and it's sister Grief, giving advice about how to self-care when feeling blue. I don't like to call it advice, really. From my days in a 12-step group, I call it experience, strength and hope (ES&H).  Hope is often the first thing to back its bags and leave when Depression comes to visit for awhile.

I find it remarkable that when I'm depressed I can cry myself into a snotfest, worry myself into a panic state, sleep myself into a coma but fail to listen to my own, tried and true ES&H. So after I sent the  message to my friend, I copied it and want to post it here as a reminder to me, and anyone else who might be feeling blue.

Depression is a disease of the body and spirit as well as the brain. Be gentle with yourself. Remember depression is a liar. It does not speak the truth. Move. Even if you hate exercise as much as I do, some form of movement will help. Pray. Hold onto God's mercy and grace even after you feel like you can't hold on any more. Be grateful. It's hard when you're feeling low, but it is always good to count your blessings.  Spend some time with Mother Nature. The bluebird of happiness may be right in your own backyard. Create something, anything. Get yourself a balloon, because as Winnie the Pooh knows, no one can be uncheered with a balloon. Buy yourself a new box of 64 Crayolas and a coloring book. Paint. Sew. Write. Knit. Bake something. Take your meds as prescribed; no self medicating. Let the tears fall. Release the anger in a healthy way (no hitting yourself, or your husband, with a frying pan.) Sleep, but not too much. Eat, but not too much. Love, all you want. And don't forget for one minute how much you are loved by your family, friends and Creator.  

Dang, that's pretty good stuff! I kind of wanted to say, why didn't I think of that, then realized I did! Feel free to add something that you think I forgot or what has worked for you. 

3. One Square Inch of Silence.
On the way to the dentist I heard a local journalist describing his year of getting close to nature. One of the things he's doing is paying attention to the sounds as well as the sights and smells of nature.  Unless, we are very still and really listen we fail to hear Mother Nature's playlist. The cacophony of sounds in the world can be jarring, deafening. Silence, on the other hand, can be nurturing and melodic. I'm not sure how that works, but try it sometime, if you can find a silent place.

The man on the radio mentioned a place in Olympia National Park, in Washington state called one square inch of silence. Here's what it says on it's website.

"One square inch of silence is the quietest  place in the United States. Located in the Hoh Rain Forest at Olympic National Park, it is 3.2 miles from the Visitor’s Center above Mt. Tom Creek Meadows on the Hoh River Trail. Hiking time from the parking lot at the Visitor’s Center to the site is approximately two hours along a gentle path lined by ancient trees and ferns. The exact location is marked by a small red-colored stone placed on top of a moss-covered log at47° 51.959N, 123° 52.221W, 678 feet above sea level. 
One Square Inch of Silence was designated on Earth Day 2005 (April 22, 2005) to protect and manage the natural soundscape in Olympic Park’s backcountry wilderness. The logic is simple; if a loud noise, such as the passing of an aircraft, can impact many square miles, then a natural place, if maintained in a 100% noise-free condition, will also impact many square miles around it. It is predicted that protecting a single square inch of land from noise pollution will benefit large areas of the park."

I don't know about you, but I want to go there. 

4. Random Thoughts
Maybe in a strange way these thoughts are not random at all.  Let's see if I can connect them.  
Even though I love snail mail and am addicted to email, blogging became a way to get and stay connected to my family.  I can do this because of the technological advances in computer science.  Technology has also advanced the way dentists do things. White "composite" materials and porcelain have replaced body-poisoning silver mercury amalgam fillings.  Porcelain fillings cost hundreds of dollars which makes me very depressed when I need one. I can combat depression by finding a quiet place to sit and soak up silence.  Finally, once I have settled into the silence my mind will begin to travel willy-nilly to uncharted places, which will give me things to write about on my blog, aptly named Random Thoughts.

Seriously folks, I think there was a little something extra in the Novocaine. 

I don't know that it's fair to say I saw God today (the Novocaine wasn't that good) but I did peek into my own recovery and discover some strength I'd reserved for others.  It feels like there was a little angel on my shoulder helping me.

Wishing for you silent places to hang out where your checkbook is not stripped bare,
Marry ME

P.S. Weneki, I think there is a beautiful synchronicity that the one square inch of silence was designated on Zubin's birthday.  


Anonymous said...

It's really important to have your silver fillings replaced with porcelain.
There are HUGE health problems with the mercury in the silver fillings - get them removed as soon as possible.


Merry ME said...

Geez, the size of this print is really hard to read. I thought I set it right. Appears I didn't. Sorry.

AkasaWolfSong said...

Beloved One...
Seeing God in the face of a Sister who writes random thoughts, is a sacred place filled with life lessons, if one but opens to new discoveries.

I love that you helped another person by lighting a candle through the sharing of thoughts on depression being a disease of spirit as well as the brain. You Go Sister Love!

I'm sure there are Angels that uphold you Mary! :)

(((All My Love,)))