Embrace The Suck

ME Three days ago I tied up my well worn Nike's and went for a walk.  Almost 6 months to the day since I broke my ankle. I've been taking short walks with Buddy. If you can call them walks.  For a dog that is not only teacher's pet, and an A+ student in class,  walking around the block is no "walk in the park" (pun intended). It's mostly sniffing. If there's something stinky out there, Buddy is the one to find it. His non-discriminating palate can zero in on a cat turd like a drone searching for an ISIS stronghold. Adolescence for a dog usually occurs around 6 or 7 months. From what the trainer tells us, this period of time is a combination of terrible twos and puberty. So far, he's right on track. He has developed some doggy pimples on his chin, which I attribute to his constant drool. His adult coat has come in, replacing soft puppy fur.  His bark has deepened to something a junk yard dog might use to scare people away. In Buddy's case, it...

I'm not sure how to describe how  I'm feeling today, so I goggled "at sixes and sevens."  To be " at sixes and sevens " is a  British English   idiom  used to describe a state of confusion or disarray. (Wikipedia) Disarrayed works.  My small little world feels like a precarious Jenga tower where I need to be  careful in choosing the piece I want to remove or the whole thing will come tumbling down. Silence is really vital to the human heart. You see the human heart can’t live with Constant sound or noise. It needs silence in order to heal itself. The only two things that are ultimately required  for spiritual homecoming are stillness and silence If in your day you can build little windows of silence and little windows of stillness You will never lose touch with your deepest voice. You will never lose touch with your most secret belonging. Even though you walk and talk in the world You will nev...

Sweetie's been having a good deal of hip pain. Steroid injections have helped. Today we went to see a surgeon who specializes in hip replacements. I sat in a straight-backed chair in the corner. Sweetie sat across the room. If he felt nervous, I couldn't tell. I concentrated on the weird looking plug under the desk, doing my best to avoid 13 year old memories. Two months after my mom died in October of 2002,  I sat in the same straight-backed chair while my father discussed surgery with the same doctor. It was my father's third rodeo. It would not be an easy surgery. Removing the old prosthesis would be tricky. The two men in the room decided to go ahead as soon as the holidays were over. I didn't have much say in the matter. With Mom gone, Dad I would become Dad's caregiver a lot sooner than I expected. As expected, it was a long, difficult surgery. I stayed with him all night. When he opened his eyes in the recovery room, two things happened. Pain surged throu...

“The act of speaking our intentions aloud shifts them from wishful thinking into action.”  Michael Thomas Sunnarbor g Eleven days into the new year, Wendy and I continue with our daily practice of online connection. Using the book Q&A a day - 365 questions * 5 years *1825 answers, we have answered a question a day. So far so good. I realized yesterday the practice is not only informative, a good way to get to know another person on a deeper level, it is helping me live with intention. I usually read the question the night before or morning of the day it's asked. So I go through my day with the question in mind. Yesterday we were asked to write down something that inspired us. I woke up with eyes looking for and heart expecting inspiration.  My first inspiration came from the Cracker Barrel waitress who served us coffee and tea.  A small girl held a big tray with one hand. She managed to put two full glasses of ice water, one tea pot of hot water and two m...

Let us pause to warm our hands on the fire of life. I have not posted for every pause, but I'm getting better at recognizing them. Like this morning while sitting in the dentist's chair, napkin chained around my neck, head laying so far back it was near the dentist's crotch. I hate having someone poking around in my mouth. I'm way overdue for a good cleaning. Once it dawned on me that I had a few minutes of uncomfortable, but restive, not the lest, I relaxed into the chair. I closed my itchy eyes. I breathed. Like sharing both the silence of the den and watching a movie with Sweetie.  Like having a phone date with my sister and talking to 2 in the morning (my time). I didn't feel rushed or tired. Time spent with my sister is always sweet. Like remembering to keep quiet and let my 95 year old friend speak to the doctor instead of butting in and answering his questions. Like being quiet when my 95 year old friend shared a conversation with ...

I just opened my email and got a huge surprise. Like the Angel Gabriel bringing good news to sleeping people in Bethlehem, my niece Shannon let me know that a) my previous ILYMT post was not lost and b) it had been published. If others of you have seen it, then you must think I'm as loony as the shepherd who believed the wolf in sheep's clothing was really a sheep. I cannot explain this except to say my computer is messing with me. I'm lucky to have an all knowing, benevolent higher binary power come to my rescue.  Not to mention Shannon. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm sure there is a message in all this craziness. It's clear I've got to practice leaning into my daily pauses, because there's really no point if I still fly off the handle and go postal at benign postal workers when my pause is interrupted.  It takes 21 days to form a habit. I've got a year to let the magic of  pausing sink in. Below is the missing post. It may not be worth all t...