incapacitated. Can't keep her out of the kitchen or from doing things around the house which I can easily handle.
The kindness of friends and neighbors is amazing. Food deliveries, visiting, get well cards, flowers, packages of goodies and books, Mary is well Loved. Looking into the refrigerator is heartening. I've never seen it so full. Nor have I ever had so many choices, friends and neighbors are great cook's. With everything available to us, we both have been eating less. Mary dining in her recliner, me at the kitchen table.
Rationally I knew Mary was in no danger of demise with her accident. Emotionally is another story. Sitting, waiting to learn something, anything from the Dr's is nerve wracking. The ER Doc was really good and informative. He showed John and I the x-rays of Mary's ankle and it was not good at all. Multiple breaks in bone and the separation of two major bones just at the top of the ankle joint. The good news is that with rest, not allowing any weight on her ankle for 8 weeks followed by several weeks of therapy to learn to walk steady again, regaining her former footing should take care of the situation.
We saw the surgeon in his office last week. The complete bandage and support cast was removed. Staples in a long line up her ankle were ugly and could not be taken out yet due to swelling. so, back we go in ten days to get them removed. Mary experienced feeling sick and light headed just getting an x-ray. Good news; the fractured bones are in perfect alignment. If the plate and screws don't bother her there will be no need to remove them. Most people leave them in place.
Personal news: After peeing, pooping and checking out the yard Buddy is ready for breakfast. He eats like I do - in a hurry. In a blink of an eye he is done eating and drinking and ready to play. Puppy Mom is still asleep so Buddy and me hang out in the office together. He plays while I check e-mails and such on the internet. Next thing I know he is curled up at my feet, asleep himself. This guy has big feet. Indicator he will be a big dog.
Using a 0 to 100% scale I am depleted emotionally by 40%. I am frustrated and hurt that I cannot do anything to ease Mary's physical or emotional pain. I feel the strain of keeping a positive attitude to support both of us. We are withdrawn from each other, short tempered and communication seems to be gone. We both know all this but don't seem able to get over it. Maybe it's too soon in this mending process and we need to be patient. Patience is not a virtue Mary and I are familiar with.
I am staying in the moment when I am physically active - doing something to help Mary. But when I am sitting my thoughts are fear filled and get me down. I know the hour, day, or week will come when I suddenly realize these negative patterns have left me and my normal is normal for me.
Enough! Live in light and love. Be filled with loving kindness for yourself and others. jdc