Random Thoughts

At Panera's this morning, I noticed how simply delightful it is to sit across the table from my sister and chat like there we have all the time in the world and no agenda.  LInda and I live on opposite sides of the country. It's been 2 years since she's been here.  I've missed her like crazy.   I brought along a box of memories, neither of us had ever seen. My father's old girlfriend (see  http://mellington.blogspot.com/2009/06/cynthia-eugenia-franklindobsonhenry.html ) has been moved to nursing care so her sons had to empty out her apartment. When she visited here in 2009 she showed me a locket that Dad had given her on her 16th birthday. She told me she wanted me to have it. Genie's step-daughter, Susan, sent me the locket along with some other memorabilia. I waited to open the box until Linda was here.  Inside there was a second locket with my father's picture in it, a Naval Academy fraternity pin studded with tiny pearls, and a picture. It was ta...

Oh my, what a day this has been. So full of chance meetings, winding roads, memories, moments where the ordinary met the holy, laughter, tears, beauty, fast moving storms, and rekindled sparks of love.  Sweetie and I took pictures all day long, but none quite matched the pictures I have in my head. I fear that they will be gone by tomorrow morning. Funny how my memory can't hold a new thought for more than a few minutes, but as I rounded a curve in the mountain road, I remembered I was almost home. Well, not home exactly, but close to Mom and Dad's cabin in the woods, fondly called Eagle's Lodge. The day started on a strangely spiritual note when Suzi and I were heading through the lobby and she walked right up to an older gent sitting at a table near the door. Suzi is like that - Miss Social. She thinks everyone wants to say hi, and oh by the way give her a pat on the head. Which is exactly what this man did. We exchanged pleasantries and before I knew it, I had pulled u...

"Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness." James Thurber Why do you have to leave, asked her father. Because I've got bills to pay and responsibilities at home, she said. Why don't you stay, he said. I've got to take care of my dogs, she answered. Give them away. I love my dogs. What you're saying is you don't love me. Daddy, if you need me to stay, I can. I don't NEED you to stay. And then the pause. She waited, holding her breath. I stood in the kitchen holding mine too. Would he step up to the plate or let her down ... again? Her being the little girl in the grown woman's body who knows her Dad is dying and wants to hear him say certain things even if the chances are pretty slim he won't. After awhile the words "I Love You" can be said by rote. The child is looking for more. The silence loomed and the words [I WANT you to stay] were never said. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut and I w...

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. T hen we would have to say good-bye. I hate goodbyes. I know what I need. I need more hellos." Snoopy Elton John sings that "sorry seems to be the hardest word." But I think he's wrong. I think the hardest word to say is "goodbye." This morning, after a week that seemed like it had less than the optimal 7 days, I took my big sister to the airport so she could fly back to Washington. I don't know how many miles it is between Washington and Florida but I know the distance between sisters is way too big. Oh sure, we have cell phones and Internet access, but tell me, is there anything better than sitting knee to knee, sharing iced teas and life stories? As we stood on the sidewalk, shivering in the record-breaking autumnal morning chill, we hugged - the kind of hug that s...

"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." Henry Ford I've spent a lot of time in the last couple of days thinking. Reliving things that happened, re-hearing things that were said during our mini-family reunion. Processing is what my sweetie calls it. For me it's probably more like a dog chewing on a bone. I've turned bone chewing into an art form. In an email I received yesterday, one of my sisters wrote: It is really fun to have all of us together, even though each of us has such different points of view. Maybe because I'm both physically and emotionally exhausted, not to mention also suffering from a severe case of Thanksgiving dinner hangover - still stuffed to the gills -but I reacted to that statement like it was a bad thing. We're sisters. We are fam-i-ly. How can we have different points of view? Why would we have d...

"Distance never separated two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad cuz I miss you I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss." One down. One more to go. The hardest one. The one I always hate. Saying goodbye to my sister Linda. Not sure how it got to be so, but out of five there have to be a few different groupings. Linda and I, for whatever reasons, are what you might call two peas in a pod. We've also been called the "cuckoo pigeon sisters" which may or may not be an accurate assessment. Before the sun comes up tomorrow, Linda will get on a plane and head back to the NW. Too many miles will separate us. Yeh, I know the separation is a just a land thing, that our hearts will stay united. Still, it's not like I can just get in the car and head for the hills and be at her house in time for dinner. This post is going to have to be a two parter. I'm havi...

Slept in late. Got a hallpass. First time visit to Hobby Lobby (mind boggling) Ate lunch at the Loop (blue cheese burger - yum!) Wandered around Borders. (Omigod, haven't been there in ages) Tried on black Birkenstocks (really liked them, couldn't bring myself to spend the $$'s) Fell in yarn love at Stitch in Time. (Didn't buy, just drooled) Came home to regroup. Going to RedLobster for dinner. (Shrimp Scampi. Yum!) This is the kind of day sister visits are all about. Merry ME

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." Buddah* Today at our house it's going to be Thanksgiving. I know it's Sat. not Thursday and it's the beginning of the month, not the end, but it is the day when our family has gathered from coast to coast so we're going to be grateful (dammit!) and eat our way through the many blessings we can count, and some then some. [At last count there were three pies on the counter, two pumpkin rolls in the fridge and brownies on the way. That's six things on the gratitude list already and we haven't even gotten to the turkey who gave his life for us.] Five girls together in the house last night felt, as expected, both weird and good. For one thing, even though we're sisters there is always a getting to know one a...

"The torch of love is lit in the kitchen. " Author unknown Does life get any better than this? My favorite sister is here to visit with. The smell of cinnamon, ginger and cloves wafts from the pies baking in the oven. John Denver is on the radio singing of wild Montana skies. Flour and sugar, mixing bowls and measuring bowls are scattered across the new kitchen counters, a veritable baptism by flour. God bless the kitchen. God help me to remember the moment when it's cold and I'm lonely. Life is good! Merry ME

"Sisters share the scent and smells - the feel of a common childhood. " Pam Brown The planets have all aligned. Dad opened his checkbook. Tomorrow, for the first time in five years all five Reynolds sisters will be together. It will be a short visit. We'll do a lot of eating, take a lot of pictures, eat some more and tell a lot of the same stories that have been told for years. I think it will be the first time since my mom died that we've all been together. That in itself will make it feel kind of weird. But as you can tell from some of my previous posts, my mother's ghost sits squarely in the center of the action. Since I've been voted the "Kitchen Maven" I'll be wearing two hats. Part of me will be Middle Mary, daughter #3. Another part will be my mom personsa, trying really hard to do/make everything just like she would have done it. I'll be the daughter who wants to fuss at Dad for some of his curmudgeony ways, and I'll be the lady o...

I wonder if there is a special formula God uses when he puts families together. Probably not. When moms and dads get together to make babies, it’s most likely a random DNA crap shoot as to how the resulting family is going to look/be. Like the grass on the other side of the proverbial fence, or the kind of hair you are born with, it’s a given that even the people who have the most Norman Rockwell-esque family on the planet, might at one time or another want a different one. Trimmed down to the barest definition, a family is just a group of people who live together. Although we all hope for companionship and support and happy memories none of these are requirements for getting through life. Some degree of love, however, has got to be a basic ingredient for a family’s survival. Love is what happens when a mom sees her new born baby for the first time. It is not necessarily the same feeling she has when that child uses a bright red crayon to paint a picture on white living room walls; or ...