Look for something, find something else,
and realize that what you've found is
more suited to your needs than
what you thought you were looking for.
A few months ago I had a psychic reading by Dani's friend, Brett Arras*. Since I was still in the throes of some pretty heavy grief, I'm surprised he could sense anything about me other than extreme sadness. But he did and offered me a peek at a few things that could come into my life later in the year. A spiritual awakening was one of them.
When talking to my therapist the subject of spirituality came up again.
At the same time I began reading Homecoming by John Bradshaw. In it he says "children are naturally spiritual. (pg. 38) Spirituality involves what is deepest and most authentic in us - our true self. When we are spiritual we are in contact with our unique-ness and specialness. Spirituality also involves a sense of connection and grounding in something greater than ourselves."
Healing ... Inner child work ... (re)connecting with a power greater than myself ... a recurring theme seems to be taking shape. Memories of my 12-step days come flashing back. I shouldn't be surprised that it's all seeping up through the layers of emotions that have piled on themselves while taking care of then losing my dad.
Another thing Brett told me was "helping others would help me." Bull's eye right to the heart of things. I feel so in touch with me and with the Divine One when I am in giving mode. Lately I have been reaching out, as well as stepping out.
A month or so ago, I got a random email from Family Christian Stores, an advertisement trying to lure me into the store. Usually I dump those without even opening them. Serendipity #1: I opened it. I read it. I followed some links. And ended up at a site announcing mission trips via the Good Goers Mission Based Adventure Trips.
When I think of mission trips I think of third world countries, starving babies, hovels instead of homes. I think of zealots handing out Jesus loves you pamphlets to people who would probably prefer a piece of bread. I think of conquistadors invading native lands under the banner of a cross. I think this is probably would not be my cup of tea. Serendipity #2: I said why not? Or in the words of a song, "Here I am, Lord." (Or maybe it's Here am I, Lord - I always get it mixed up!) I corresponded with Good Goers, got more information and signed up for a trip to a Native American orphanage in Oklahoma. Not exactly a 3rd world country, but not exactly Utopia either. I don't have the statistics but I think it's fair to say Native American reservations are some of the poorest places in the United States ... home of the brave and land of the free.
And Serendipity #4: Sweetie jumped right on board and signed up too. Neither of us knows what we're getting ourselves into other than it's an opportunity to move the limits of our comfort zones, open our eyes and ears to the plight of those less fortunate than us, and step out in faith. All that and adventure too. The bonus is we are not leaving the good ole US of A. We don't have to get a battery of shots before we leave, and we'll know the language. (Sort of, we haven't spoken "teenage" in many years!)
According to our team leader, Steve, our main goal is to spend time with and love up on kids from 5-19 years old. Most, but not all, are from the Cherokee Nation. Our secondary goal is to work on a "project" which in our case might be laying concrete. What? I have expressed more than once that Sweetie and I may not be the typical missionary, that we are old and out of shape. And just as many times, we've been assured we won't be asked to do anything we aren't capable of.
[ An aside: I seem to remember when our neighbor was getting a new driveway there was a person whose sole duty was to stand there with a stick. I don't know what the stick was for, but hey, I'm pretty sure I could be a stick holder for awhile. There was also a person who was right there in the wet cement with boots up past his knees. I've always wanted a pair of bright colored Wellies. Maybe this is my opportunity.]
Since my blog is where I pour out my heart and soul it shouldn't come as any surprise that this is where I will report, hopefully on a daily basis (not sure if there will be Internet connection so it may have to be after I come home) how things are going. My inner Katie Curik can't wait to get there and put on her reporter's hat. Hmmm, I wonder if I can hold a stick AND take notes at the same time! My inner child, who I confess is part of the reason I'm doing this, is chomping at the bit to play with kids her own age. I need this time with children for my healing as well as theirs.
The Creator works in mysterious ways. I believe I'm/we're being led by the One who sees a bigger picture than we can ever imagine. I ask that you keep Sweetie and me in your prayers, cover us in light, or just send good vibrations our way during the week of October 8-15.
Today I'm grateful for many things, mostly a giving heart.
May you give when you have plenty, and receive when you are in need,
* I think you can find Brett at Dani's store Three Sister's Uniquities in Waukesha, WI