Here Comes the Bride

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb.

It isn’t something you get.

It’s something you do.

It’s the way you love your parnter every day.”

Barbara DeAngelis

Today, in just about 7 hours, one of my very favorite people, my sister Linda, is going to marry her one time boyfriend/domestic partner, Ron.

Although I don't remember Ron from their high school dating days, I do remember sitting on the stairs peering through the banisters when Linda would leave the house all dressed up for a date. No doubt I was singing something like Linda and Ron, sitting in a tree .... as bratty little sisters (I know it's hard to believe, yet true!) are wont to do.

Theirs is one of those go your separate way/have a life/find each other through the Internet/rekindle lost love/live happily ever after stories you read about. Ron popped back into Linda's life shortly after my mother passed away and my father had hip surgery for the third time. My father was difficult to be around on a good day. At that point in his life, grieving and hurting, he was much like a grizzly bear everyone hoped would go into hibernation until he could "come out and act nice!" I think Linda left here thinking she'd had it with men. Been there. Done that.

Enter Ron. Enter friendship. Enter possibility.

Ron brought with him a love for the outdoors, a desire to spend time doing things together and a heart willing to try again. After Ron's traveling home burned down in one of this gi-normous southern California fires, they moved in together and have been that way ever since. Some things are just meant to be.

As has been stated here before, my father had strong opinions about two people living together. Even sound, rational, financial reasoning which was the cornerstone of my father's thinking, carried no weight. On her last visit to see Dad Linda told him of her up coming wedding. With that announcement she made him a very happy man. Strange as it might seem, God's timing is always right.

There is one problem I have with Linda and Ron tying the knot today. It is personal, selfish and even on the bratty side (once a little sister, always a little sister). I'm heart sick that I am sitting in Florida, not in Washington helping the bride bake her own wedding cake. I get teary-eyed just thinking about the couple not having any of their family members standing up with them to clap and yeehaw as Ron and Linda say "I do."

I'm remembering, however, my own wedding that took place just about a year ago. It was private, beautiful and ideally suited for us. I think this is the way Linda wanted it to be. Feeling sure there will be a big family shindig in their future I honor their request for simple.

If I were there, I'd raise a crystal glass of sparkling cider and offer Terri's poem as a toast. Instead I put it here, for everyone who is in a relationship to read and share with the person they love.

A Vow to my Partner

by Terri St. Cloud

3/9/2010

i will be mindful of the act of loving you

every day of my life.

i will not take you for granted,

but will keep my eyes open to the treasure

that you are,

allowing room for your individuality

and your own uniqueness.

i will not try to bend you to my ways,

but rather open myself to your ways as being

part of who you are.

i will embrace all of you.

the dark places along with the light.

because, together,

those parts create the being that i love.

i will accept you,

respect you and admire you.

and if something comes between us

to make me stumble with this,

i will go to you and ask your help

with my struggle.

i will bring my challenges to you,

looking for your thoughts and support

and i will return that support to you freely.

when i’m hurt, i will believe in your love for me,

i will bring you my hurt,

and together we will grow from it

and then put it aside.

i will share all of myself with you,

for I know to receive your entire heart,

you must have mine.

together, we will work,

we will play,

we will laugh,

we will grieve,

and we will find our way.

together we will live gratitude

together we will touch love.”

Linda Lu, I wish you and Ron all the happiness life can offer. I'm not sure that anyone deserves it more than you. May God surround you with trumpet blowing angels this afternoon. Know that you are loved beyond compare. Here's to you. Here's to love.

Your sometimes bratty little sister who is very lucky to have you in her life,

Merry ME