Embrace The Suck

... the more they stay the same. Since I've been concentrating on giving my inner writer a voice, my inner quilter has had to take a back seat in my creative life. That artist persona put her foot down last week and has been sewing and cutting and piecing around the clock.  I'd forgotten how fun it is to see something take shape right in front of your eyes. A lot has happened since my last quilting frenzy. I used to sew on the dining room table, where my mother taught me how to sew when I was 13 years old. My mom used to walk up behind me and watch, quiet as a mouse. When I'd crawl around on the floor positioning squares, she'd stand in the doorway and nod her head yes or no.   Dad would also make his opinion known.  My habit when I finished piecing the top, and again when the quilt was finished, washed and ready to go to the person it was made for, was to spread it out on top of Mom and Dad's king sized bed and take a picture. Like my parent's the tab...

"Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction." Pablo Picasso ... when you take pieces of perfectly good fabric .... ... cut them up into little pieces ... .... then sew them back together in a completely different pattern? The beginnings of a quilt, and the joyful feeling of creating.  Today I'm grateful for forward movement. Delayed, yes. But movement, nonetheless. I'm grateful for chocolate milkshakes that hit the spot and a swimming pool on a hot day. Wishing for you cool things that make you smile, Merry ME

I've been feeling a little down lately. A week after being home from our impromptu vacation, I'm ready to go back to the mountains. I watched the red-headed, black-hearted joker sit through court proceedings yesterday and felt both sad and sick. I look at my Sweetie whose living with a discordant gut (to put it delicately) and wish I could wish away his distress. I saw a man holding a cardboard sign by the side of the road and caught myself feeling disarmingly cynical rather compassionate. It's time, I think,  for some comic relief. The kind that pets can provide.  Those furry creatures who somehow bring us joy even when they are knocking a bowl off the shelf they aren't even supposed to be on. Boy Cat did that last night, his way of getting my attention. This time it was not an empty food dish, but a jar full of lavender.  The cat was gone before the jar even hit the floor, but the smell of lavender still lingers next to my chair. There are some things one should nev...

Nasa Photo, 1983 When I was growing up I pretty much figured my lot as a woman was cast. I'd get married and have babies. I didn't question it. There was nothing else I wanted to do. In 1970, at the age of 18, I put that plan into action. I got married. Had my first baby a year later. A girl. While I have never been what you might call a feminist, I certainly appreciate the work that other women did to open doors I didn't choose to walk through. My daughter, Weneki, was 12 years old when Sally Ride became the first American woman to travel into space. I tried to instill in her she could be or do anything she set her mind to. Her gender wasn't an issue. I can't tell you if Weneki had specific role models. She was, however, full of ambition and drive from a very early age. She pushed to be her best in everything she did - from school, to sports, to her job, to caregiving, to relationships, to making CD's and doing the happy dance. She still does. P...

After 9/11 I found I couldn't look at the repeated news broadcasts. I still close my eyes when the reruns of the towers falling in on themselves are shown. I was reminded of the same thing when I turned on the TV this morning and every station had the same cellphone video of the movie theater shootings playing over and over and over. Then when I turned on the computer there was the guy's face plastered on the Yahoo news page. While today's shooter doesn't look quite as sinister as Mohammad Atta, there is still evil behind those eyes, that the smirky smile cannot hide. I have a hard time with evil. Well, duh. Who doesn't? What I mean is I have such a strong conviction that each and every person created has been kissed by the Divine.  It may be an article of my faith, but I can't buy into the fact that we are born sinners. I think we are born in the image of God and given half a chance can live into the love that is our Divine birthright. Where does evil com...

I did something today I shouldn't have done. And now instead of keeping it a secret, I'll go ahead and blog about it. Sort of a "2 wrongs don't make a right thing." I had a doctor's appointment that took all of 10 minutes. The rather large and ugly cyst that was going to be removed by a plastic surgeon disappeared. Not much for the doctor to do but tell me to keep my dirty, oily hands of it. Oily? Gross. Basically, I was up, dressed, and out with time on my hands. So I headed for the book store. Since I have a stack of books by my bed, there is no reason under the sun to buy any more. Besides that my Sweetie seems to have a thing going on with Marion the Librarian because he is either checking out or returning something four or five times a week.  I made a split second decision to turn in the direction of  the fabric store instead, which is just as unnecessary and maybe more detrimental to my pocketbook. At least when I buy a new book, I read it. Fabric I ...

I believe my blog posts about our trip are longer than the trip itself. Can't believe it's been a week since we began our assent into the Smoky Mountains. I'm sure the beauty of the mountains speaks to everyone who travels through the peaks and valleys. I can't explain it, but more than the beauty awaits me. When I'm there, it is as if I've come home, on a cellular level. My daddy's people settled in  the mountains for at least two generations. Look in the phone book and you're bound to find more than a few Webbs, though I don't know how closely related we all are. I may not ever live there but it is a place welcomes me home whenever I visit. Sweetie, ME and Suzi at Bald River Falls Here are a 30 things I learned on this trip: Talk to Sweetie before he makes reservations. There is a Dollar General or Family Dollar store in almost every small community along Hwy 411. In the bigger towns you'll find a Subway. If you are a Baptist, you...

I don't think there's anything on this planet that more trumpets life that the sunflower.  For me that's because of the reason behind its name.  Not because it looks like the sun but because it follows the sun.  During the course of the day, the head tracks the journey of the sun across the sky.  A satellite dish for sunshine.  Wherever light is, no matter how weak, these flowers will find it.  And that's such an admirable thing.  And such a lesson in life." ~ Calendar Girls 2003 Movie After saying goodbye to my sister, Sweetie, Suzi and I hopped back in the car and headed south. We drove the on the same road, but it looked different somehow. I wonder what it is that makes going towards home so different from going from home? With one there is excitement to get where you're going. A sense of adventure and desire, perhaps, to see new things (or connect with old friends and places). With the other there is time spent pondering the t...

It's hard to believe that just a week ago I was whining about being a boogerhead. What a difference 7 days and 500 miles can make! Not saying my boogerhead persona doesn't lie dormant waiting for an opportunity to whine. I'm just saying that the change of pace and scenery, not to mention a cleansing downpour, new connections and reconnections were just what the doctor ordered. Note to self: When you're feeling boogery, don't just sit there - get moving. me The last part of our stay in Tennessee was very similar to the first part - eating and visiting. We hooked up with Pastor Maurice Hall for breakfast.  Jack found him dressed and sitting in the motel lobby at 5:30 am when Suzi went out for a morning toilette.  I get antsy just thinking about waiting for 4 hours to pass, but I think Pastor Hall probably lost himself in prayer and meditation and memory. That Maurice is a man of God was evident from the start, but we soon learned he is much more than that. Sweeti...

Note: I'm home now, sitting in my own chair, the dog at my feet, a cat at my shoulder. The air conditioner hums, a motorcylce varooms in the distance. I can see a slight breeze moving the plants around. I already miss the mountain views, but settling into the delightfulness of home. me After coming down the mountain from Tellico Plains, we stopped at Hardee's to get some quick food because my sister had to go to work.  If I haven't said it before now, it is fair to say we began to veer off  our diet regimen of the last month somewhere around the Georgia border. "I'm on vacation," Sweetie said when he came out of Subway with a combo that included potato chips. I looked at my nutritious, but lackluster apple slices and made a mental note to go for the chips next time. What are vacations for if not to toss away the everydayness of our lives at least for a time. Whitt's General Store The big black cloud that had been hovering over the mountain suddenly...

Sunflower Farm Rutledge, GA More to come but wanted to share a sunflower picture with you. This looks like a postcard, don't you think?  If I had a life list I could now check off standing in the middle of a sunflower field. That is not to say, however, if I had an opportunity to see French Sunflowers that I would turn it down. Nor would I keep driving if I passed a farm that looked as inviting as the one we visited today.  Today I'm grateful for new friends, safe travels, time with my sister, a brown dog, juicy oranges, a place to call home and my Sweetie. He deserves a Saying Yes Medal.  Wishing for you blue skies, puffy white clouds and yellow flowers that make you smile, Merry ME

Oh my, what a day this has been. So full of chance meetings, winding roads, memories, moments where the ordinary met the holy, laughter, tears, beauty, fast moving storms, and rekindled sparks of love.  Sweetie and I took pictures all day long, but none quite matched the pictures I have in my head. I fear that they will be gone by tomorrow morning. Funny how my memory can't hold a new thought for more than a few minutes, but as I rounded a curve in the mountain road, I remembered I was almost home. Well, not home exactly, but close to Mom and Dad's cabin in the woods, fondly called Eagle's Lodge. The day started on a strangely spiritual note when Suzi and I were heading through the lobby and she walked right up to an older gent sitting at a table near the door. Suzi is like that - Miss Social. She thinks everyone wants to say hi, and oh by the way give her a pat on the head. Which is exactly what this man did. We exchanged pleasantries and before I knew it, I had pulled u...

I slept really hard after taking Suze out for her 5am pee. When my sister called at 9, I jumped up like a little kid on the first day of vacation.  We're going exploring today. Well, not so much exploring new things as retracing steps I used to take with my mom and dad. More about that later. Just know I'm excited to see the places - it's been about 12 years - again. And my heart is beating kind of fast. Scared in a way. Like before making a speech. You see, I'm going to say yet another goodbye.  Like letting go a handful of balloons at a time, I'm releasing my father, mother and my grief in baby steps. Still, right now, this minute, I'm chomping at the bit to hit Highway 68 and go driving through the mountains to see places my heart recalls fondly. May peace and love and sweet memories surround you, Merry ME

Day two of our impromptu vacation got off to a bad start. The promised continental breakfast offered by our less than stellar motel consisted of luke warm coffee, no cream, three pre-packaged pastries, cereals with room temperature milk, and apple juice. My Sweetie, who is a patient and mild-tempered man unless he is forced to start his day with out coffee sweetened with a hint of French vanilla creamer, growled as he came back to the room where I stood in my underwear trying to dry my hair.  As I fiddled with the hairdryer that made a strange whistling sound and blew not quite hot hair,  Sweetie headed to the gas station/food mart across the parking lot from said Inn for some potable caffeine. The way to make that man of mine overcome the meanies is to give him food. Luckily a Huddle House restaurant sat in near proximity. We left Suze in the room and followed the scent of bacon and eggs and extra strong coffee wafting through the air and across the parking lot.  When ...

The spur of the moment kids, who like to jump in the car and head out for adventure are at it again.  Or should I say the girl who has wanted to see the sunflower festival in Georgia for five years is finally on the move.  While I was still agonizing the hows, whens, wheres, etc, Sweetie was on the Internet making reservations. First stop, Red Carpet Inn, in East Dublin, GA: If I tell you we are just across the "bridge" from Dublin you might guess that we are not in the part of town where the tourists hang out. Actually, when we drove through downtown looking for a place to eat dinner, I realized this isn't exactly the kind of town tourists flock to.  I can't swear by it, but I think Dublin's claim to fame is that Sherman did not burn it down on his way to the sea. If it  looked a lot like this back in the 1860's Sherman may have decided it wasn't worth his time. It's kind of sad, really.  A sign of the poor economic times maybe. Windows boarded ove...