I had kind of a rough morning. Feeling now like a nap to sleep away the ick. Hmmm, I wonder what I've done with the ick cream Tina sent me.
First of all, I noticed a little tiny frog right next to Suzi's food bowl. I've notice a couple other frogs who have dried up and gone on to the great frog pond in the sky. I didn't want the same thing to happen to this one. I tried to cup my hand over him, but this guy had obviously been training to win the Jumping Frog of Calavaras County gold medal. He hopped across the kitchen in two blinks of a frog's eye, with me following on all fours, trying to catch him. He got himself under a shelf, through a crack and behind the trash can faster than I could crawl to to the same can. Aha! I figured he was cornered and I'd be able to rescue him and win his life long gratitude. To my great dismay, the little green guy had vanished. He was nowhere to be seen. I'm hoping he ran around me while I was moving the trash can. If he got himself back to the middle of the kitchen while the cats were still asleep, he had a 50/50 chance of making it to the back door. I really didn't want to think of him in the roach trap or dishwasher. I felt defeated by the tiniest of amphibians. (Unlike the way I felt last night when doing the same chase. Only then I was doing a dosey doe with a cockroach with a shoe in my hand. Every time I swatted, I missed and the roach gained on me.)Who knew bugs could be so darn fast?
After I calmed down from losing the frog, I watched this perfectly wonderful video posted by my friend Po on our mutual friend Ter's FB page. Check it out, cause really, if you're in the need for some rain, but there is none in your forecast, it gives you everything a storm can give you without the wet.
Then I noticed a privacy issue. As often happens I assumed it was meant for me. I was pretty sure it stemmed from something I'd posted. Except it really wasn't an assumption. I'd posted a picture (a really cute) picture without permission. There would have been no problem receiving the permission. The problem was that I didn't ask. It flummoxed me (Sweetie suggests I use this phrase instead of calling myself stupid) that I didn't ask. I'm used to my life being an open book. I forget that doesn't mean everybody wants the same thing.
Let me say I felt horrible. Mainly embarrassed. It feels like standing in the middle of Times Square naked with a big spotlight shining on you. Maybe Heidi Klum or any of the other actresses on the cover of Redbook Magazine who are over 40 and lost a ton of weight and toned up and now look covergirl amazing wouldn't mind the limelight. I do. I especially hate it when the light comes from my own dumb actions.
Feeling embarrassed makes me cry. It makes me want to hide. It makes me want to run to my mom and have her tell me everyone makes mistakes and everything will be alright. (I don't think that ever happened, but doesn't mean I don't still think it might.) It makes me want to bake, then eat, a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies. The last thing it makes me want to do is want to fess up and apologize. Not that I don't feel sorry, I just don't want to be seen as flummoxed.
I suppose this would be where my mom might also tell me, that being a big girl is doing hard things, especially when we are wrong. That saying I'm sorry, please forgive me is an important step in growing up. The little girl inside me hated this advice, but the big girl I am (and now, sadly, my mother stand-in) knew this is what I had to do. And when I did it, tears I tried to hide inched down my cheeks but the heaviness on my shoulders eased. Turns out my assumption was a bit off the mark, which also helped. Still, I have to be careful how I use FB.
It begs the question, why do I even mess with FB? What would it be like to shut the thing off. Maybe the time I spend there could be better used writing snail mail, or doing back exercises. I'd miss pictures of Gracie, and some interesting Huffington Post articles, and updates from my children, nieces and other friends. Is that enough to keep me hooked? Yeh, I think it is.
Back to my morning ... following the FB debacle, I read something posted to bring about awareness of Domestic Violence. The words broke my heart wide open. Sadness + embarrassment = the start of a poopy day. Then I realized I'd left my wallet in my other work bag, so I was at the mercy of my friend Tasha at Subway. She let me use my debit card for a $3 purchase. Maybe this should have added to my embarrassment but lots of people don't carry cash, so no big deal, right?
On the plus side of my morning, I noticed the way the sun glistened on spider webs lining the concrete bridge supports. I cross that bridge almost every day, I've never noticed even one spiderweb before. Maybe it was the angle of the sun, or the spiders were having a bridge convention, or the traffic was so slow I could take in the view. Whatever the reason, it was pretty cool.
Then I noticed how good it felt to let a van from the lane next to me squeeze in front of me for a right hand turn. As random acts of kindness go, this may not have been high on the list, but it made me smile. Then I got to work, I was greeted by Caroline's sweet, sweet smile. A baby smile can sure take away the blues.
Since my day really didn't have any place to go but up, I'm glad to say it got better. I think it had something to do with being in the company of people I really like. Even though I wasn't naked, girl talk took the limelight off my inward chastising. Lesson(s) learned.
How was your day?