Thursday, October 22, 2009


"Who needs astrology?
The wise man gets by on fortune cookies."
Edward Abbey

I'm sitting here laughing. Which is a good thing. I've been weighing heavy, dreary thoughts all morning. Day 2 of an emotional blowup is mellow on the outside, roiling on the inside. I haven't kicked the dog or cussed at anybody so I'm probably going to come out the other side of the funk.

For some reason, before checking my email a few minutes ago my online horoscope came up. Here's what it says. I think, after reading yesterday's post, you'll have to agree that it's pretty funny. Or is that maniacal laughing I hear in the background?

"Your love-hate balancing act with an authority figure is most definitely tipping in the love direction right about now. Even with the current hectic pace of your life, you two can find the time you need to clearly communicate what you expect from each other. Rely on your solid communication skills to ease any potentially rough spots that may appear in the near future. You two are developing an excellent relationship."

I highlighted the laughable words. Of course, I must assume that the stars are referring to my father. He is now and always has been THE authority figure in my life. The one I measure all authority by. The one whose opinion counts the most and the one who can cut me down to size with a swipe of his tongue.

After the last few days we've had it is really hard to imagine that we are tipping the scales in the love direction. Of course I love him, and I think he loves me. The question that must be asked is what does love have to do with it! Maybe neither of us really has a clue what love is. I think communicating clearly and honestly is important even if love isn't involved.

Perhaps, in the end the stars will be right. Much as I fantasize about walking out the door I know I will not/can not leave before the last chapter of our book has been written. So my prayer today is that we are building an excellent relationship. In order to get the foundation to lay nice and smooth, I guess we have to get rid of a few - okay a lot- of big ol' boulders. After that it should be smooth sailing, right!


Wishing for you a night full of stars and a hand to hold,
Merry ME


Sorrow said...

a kick in the ......
from the universe...

Fire Byrd said...

'I think my Dad loves me'
I would say course he does, your his girl.
But that doesn't mean he can't get mad with you or you with him. Isn't it more that he gets mad cause of the limitations of being very old and infirm, and you are the safest target. Cause he trusts that whatever he says to you,that you'll still love him.
My father used to get drunk (he was an alcoholic) and phone me up to call me a c.... I'd put the phone down and wait till be sobered up suffiencntly to call back. And now's dead I wouldn't mind if he called me up to call me anything he wanted.

Anonymous said...

Fire Byrd's comment sure puts some perspective on life and the non-living...lg