Growing Pains

I don't know why, but I feel like crying.

I must be feeling scared.
Tonight is our very informal Chat Noir Writer's Circle 2015 recital.
I'm reading a story about not being afraid.
How's that for irony.

There is no reason to be afraid.
There is no place or group of people where I feel safer.
Still, my stomach is kind of grumbly, and I'm kind of teary eyed.

Except when I'm at work, I spend a lot of time in bed.
Not always asleep, but a lot.
There's a lot of change a foot.
Guess who doesn't like change.

Yesterday, I took Bella to a new park.
At first she didn't like it cause there weren't any other kids there.
Then Leah and her brother showed up.
Leah was 6 and a half years old and wore the very same pink Frozen shirt that Bella was wearing.
That was all Bella needed.
She followed Leah around the whole park.
She watched as Leah climbed on top of the slide, stood in the notch of a tree, swung really high and jumped from the swing.
I began to notice that Bella's fear began to change to courage.
She tried sitting in a swing by herself - with me holding her on. She didn't like it when I let go, but she squealed with delight when she realized she wasn't going to fall, even if it was just for a second.
Notch in the tree, no big deal for a Frozen shirted girl.
Monkey bars - with me holding her up - fun enough to ask for more.
I don't think I take undo risks, but I do let Bella stretch her limits.

Wonder why I don't do the same for me?
Maybe I need a Frozen T-shirt to wear tonight.

Merry ME

Comments

Debbie said…
Frozen shirt...maybe
ready to go.....working on it
click your heels and say 'the show must go on' ....save the 'there is no place like home' for later.

Have a great evening!!

May 21, 2015 at 7:09 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An Easter Miracle

Image
How is it that after someone you love dies, time moves on even when it feel like its standing still? Philosophers, poets and writers have tried to answer that question since time began. I don't have the answer. I just know that, by what I can only imagine is the Grace of God, it does. When you heart is broken into something resembling a 1000 piece jig saw puzzle and there are no directions on how to put it together, somehow it mends. When some else dies and it cracks again, God stitches the old wound and the new wound together into a patchwork of healed scars. Fifteen years ago, when I watched my mother draw a breath then counted the seconds before she took another but none came, I sat by her bed and tried to imagine being a motherless child. Then I did what any kid would do, ran down the long hospital corridor sounding the alarm. "My mother isn't breathing." "My mother isn't breathing."  Want to see doctors, nurses, CNAs, and cleaning ladies tur
Read more

Holy Moly

I knew it had been quite some time since I'd posted anything here, but had no idea it had been since December. Where does the time go? Is there anyone out there still reading this blog.  I don't know what happened, but the words just quit coming. And maybe I got lazy. One's muse leaving town and being lazy is a deadly combination, especially for a blogger. Well if you're still here, I'd like to redirect you to a new blog. (I know that doesn't make any sense - not writing one place then starting in another. It's kind of like having 5 pairs of jeans, but knowing in your heart of hearts that you really need the ones that are sale staring you in the face.) The new blog Crazy Maizey   chronicles the life of my son's dog, Maizey. She has been diagnosed with cancer. We all feel very sad.  Right now Maizey doesn't even appear to be sick. She limps now and then, but can plays, swims, and beats up her brother like always. For some reason, learning abou
Read more

Book Review

Image
Misadventures of a Happy Heart A Memoir of Life Beyond Disabilities by Amy Quincy When E-books first came out, I was of the I'll-never-buy-one-because-I-like-the-feel-of-a-book-in-my-hand school of thought. Then I bought one. Then two. Then enough more to realize reading on a Nook was infinitely easier than holding a bound book and turning the pages, especially when reading in bed. Which is where I usually read. I also like the fact that I can make the font bigger to match my diminishing eye sight. I got a new pair of glasses last week and was amazed at how clear and bright the world looked through the new prescription. The saleswoman put a card with tee-tiny writing on it under my nose and I could read with no difficulty at all. Until I got home. Now I'm having to move my head either up or down depending on whether I'm looking far away or close up. Perhaps I should have saved the money I spent on new glasses and bought a larger Nook. None of that made any differe
Read more