Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Daily Report

" True love is one of the rarest jewels of life, treasure it with all your heart.
When you find someone who loves you just as you are, is steadfast during moments
of stress, willing to grow with you and allows you to feel however you choose to
feel in any moment - there is nothing more you will ever find in a person. You've
found True Love when you feel fear; fear of vulnerability, fear of abandonment and
fear of letting go of your own stubborn egoic patterns that keep the real you separate
and safe from the other. Trust in love and go towards your fear, taking this leap
of faith in every moment is the journey Love requires for its sweet reward."
Mastin Kipp, founder of TDL.
TDL - Wisdom with Style
March 10th, 2010

While Romeo laid in bed under the influence of tendon relaxing meds, I left the Homestead and drove around town to look at apartments. I started out in conversation with Tyrone the floral designer who gave me a tulip to see how quickly it would open when taken out of the ice cold refrigerator. I have no time lapse photography to prove it, but the little beauty did in fact open within minutes. However, contrary to Tyrone's assurances it did not open so far it fell apart. By the time I came home this evening, it was still looking magnificent in all it's tulip-y splendor.

I stopped by Paneras for a Bear Claw and iced tea for the road. I could only eat and drink because my stomach is doing its best to stay churned up. Next I stopped by my sister's office to wish her a happy birthday and pick up some papers for my dad. Then I was on the road for the better part of the day.

I didn't see the inside of any of the places on my list. The places I think we can afford are sort of in the low - low rent district. It's funny how appearances can change from one street to another. The area where I was looking is an older part of town with an up 'n coming air to it. In fact, it's been coming up for awhile. Lots of old Victorian homes have been separated into apartments, renovated and rent for way more than you'd think a one bedroom place should cost. There is a nice neighborhood feeling to it, though, instead of a row of cinder block apartments one after another.

Have you ever read a story or heard someone say, that they didn't know why they picked something, but it just felt right. IS that serendipity? I tried to stay hyper-sensitive to random acts of serendipity. I prayed and prayed some more. It's silly I know, because I seriously doubt that God was going to speak out loud to me, I was kind of hoping for a whisper or nudge. At one point I pulled over to the side of the road and cried. I called a friend I haven't seen in months. He wasn't the answer to my apartment prayer but his gentle, soothing concern and understanding was enough to let me know I'm being cared for by the Master Planner in the sky.

Then I spent a few minutes with my dad. For him or for me? Not sure. Then I came home and felt a little rankled that Romeo was still not up to dancing the rumba. Probably a good thing as that kind of exercise could easily pull other tendons out of line.

It is clear I need a few lessons in the power of positive thinking. Pollyanna has definitely left for parts unknown. An overwhelming sense of fear and dread is seeping into my bones. Even so my mantra has become, "to everything there is a purpose."

Wishing for you serendipitous blessings,
Merry ME

2 comments:

Aurora said...

((hugs)) to you, dear Merry and ((more hugs)).
The tulip thing was cool.
Sounds like it was an othereise tough/rough day emotionally.
My empathy.

Please, please, please - my eyes aren't good enough to read your posts when you have changed to such a tiny font - make it bigger again, I love to read you!

Pamela Jones said...

Mark's and my life has hit some places where the road wasn't bumpy -- it seemed like it had been bombed out and there were deep potholes every couple of feet. We have an image we like to use, and I thought I'd share it with you. Speed bumps. We all know about those. They're usually spaced at intervals in a parking lot or on a residential street, well-marked with warnings that we should slow down or be bounced around. They're a nuisance;but we can deal with them, because they're predictable and short-lived. At times like the one you're in right now, it's as though someone put about a million speed bumps, one after another, right in your path -- and traffic is moving fast and won't let you slow down as you hit them. Is it any wonder that you're feeling rattled? Certainly, we need to keep dealing with our lives; but if there are a few bumps you really don't need to drive over right now, I'd say avoid them. And if you feel really rattled, just stop for a bit and collect yourself. Remember to see each bump as an individual obstacle -- you can handle one speed bump at a time. It's only when they are everywhere and close together that you feel bumped and bruised.

Oh, yeah...and when we were looking for our house, Mark and I had a huge blowup over whether God is a real estate agent and will provide a solution or whether we need to take the bull by the horns and DO something, ferpetesake. All I can tell you is that after months of miserable hunting for what we could afford (floors so uneven that marbles placed at each baseboard would collect in the center of the room), we walked into OUR HOUSE -- the woodwork took my breath away -- and found that the owners were selling for the exact price we were looking to spend. Who'd have thought?