Friday, April 9, 2010

A Snake in the Grass


Yesterday my hunter gatherer in the faded blue shirt asked for help getting a snake out of the pool drain. For some reason that I cannot really explain, I jumped up to the ready. At the time I didn't know it was going to be a little tiny thing. I'm usually a little squeamish, i.e girly, when it comes to things that slither in the grass. I surprised even myself by my willingness to look at the snake, let alone help release it from its chlorinated captivity.

Upon removal of the drain cover, I found myself cooing at "the cute little thing". I was almost willing to stick my hand into the mushy oak blossoms and pick the little cutie up with bare hands.

"Stand back," said Sweetie, with real concern in his voice." "We don't know what we're dealing with here." He was right. We didn't know. And I'm aware that the tiny little thing could have potentially packed a big venomous wallop. Still, "stand back" seemed a little over the top. I looked at the snake, then at snake getter. Wondering if I was missing something, I looked around for a big old mama snake lying in wait somewhere close by.

Sweetie reached into the drain with his weapon of choice - a pasta strainer from the kitchen. The snake, being of small stature but large brain, dove straight for the bottom of the drain and performed a great impersonation of a dead snake. Even though I thought the little slithering thing was cute and definitely not very scary, I did not want to try to perform reptilian CPR on it. Grabbing the strainer I stuck the pointy end that rests on a pot into the water and flipped the drowned beast into the grass along with several leaves and a bunch of oak gunk that at this time of the year clogs the pool filter.

I watched closely to see if the snake was going to move. Proud of our good deed, I turned to high five my Sweetie. When I turned back the object of our attention was gone. Gone, as in vanished, as in nowhere around, as in magic. I swear the seemingly dead as a doornail, not moving a snaky muscle had literally disappeared before our very eyes.

I know what you are thinking. You're saying to yourself that it undoubtedly had chameleon-like characteristics and in the instant it was grabbing a fresh breath of life saving air, it changed its color to blend in with the grass, or the leaves, or the pool's cool deck because it didn't realize we were its saviors not its exterminators. That is a perfectly logical explanation but I stood there (okay so I was a little concerned about getting too close to the snake that was now out of the water and could potentially hit me with as yet unseen fangs so I didn't actually get on my hands and knees and look) training my vision on the spot where I'd dropped the thing. He was not there, or anywhere within a 3 foot radius. There is only one explanation for how he could have vanished so quickly. Magic.

I've always kind of wondered about that whole Adam and Eve and snake story. Why did Eve have to take all the blame when it was the snake that did all the charming? I believe I now know the rest of the story. When God came looking for the apple eaters and they turned around and pointed at the snake, it had obviously applied its snake like magic and disappeared leaving Adam and Eve looking like big fat liars. Satiated and knowledgeable, but liars nonetheless.

Wishing for you a day filled with magic,
Merry ME


Pamela Jones said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Loving the reptilian magic idea! And the shirt had to come into the story, right? It's obvious to me now that the shirt is the faded-cotton armor of the great white snake hunter. Thanks for a great story!

Still chortling!

AkasaWolfSong said...

It looks like a Worm Snake...from the 'Carphophis amoenus' family? I quick did a little search, but it doesn't say if it is any rate, I give them a wide berth...and I so agree with you that the snake should have been held accountable instead of woman!

Great Story that had me giggling Mary...I needed that.

Blessings and Enjoy your weekend!

Anonymous said...

A snake of any description, by any other name is still a snake. (Serpentes, order Squamata) My copy of The Back Yard Removal Techniques For Snake Like Creatures says; CAUTION - SNAKES BITE. See: for comments about shirt. jdc