Embrace The Suck

"All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911." Lewis Black (Stand-up comic) In a few hours I hope to be able to say that I made it through the Halloween season (which started somewhere back in July) without buying or eating one piece (bag) of candy corn. There is still one more trip to the grocery store that stands in my way of victory. But I hope to cut it short by leaving Sweetie in the car with the engine running. That way I won't be able to stand and stare (drool) at the bags of orange and yellow and white globs of sugar that make my teeth hurt just looking at them. I cannot say exactly why I like this candy so much. It doesn't have the appeal of any kind of chocolate, peanut and caramel mixture. Yet, for me it is as impossible to eat one (or one handful if we're being honest) of the triangles as a Lays potato chip. I wonder, is there really some place in my sugar crazed brain that thinks that when I'm chowing down on candy corn, I'm really...

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one." Mark Twain. I first started blogging after reading my daughter's friend's "Just Jenni" blog. She had signed up for National Blog Posting Month and I was pretty impressed that she could think of something to write about every single day of the month. I've tried it a couple of times - I can't even remember how many - and I think I only successfully completed the challenge once. Well, here it is almost November again and I've been getting notices from NaBloPoMo announcing (daring?) that the contest will start on Tuesday. During NaBloPoMo t here is no posted theme other than to write something every day during the month of November. They have joined up with BlogHer so I'm guessing there will be lots more serious bloggers than I am used to running with. Las...

"God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grow in silence: see stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence ... We need silence to be able to touch souls." Mother Teresa Some of the unexpected delights of my trip to Oklahoma were the number of opportunities for silence. One of our main goals was to interact with the kids there. We all know kids are anything but quiet so I didn't really think about silence. At first I missed the music I had expected would accompany our journey - modern day praise songs, or old fashioned hymns. [Finally after not-so-patiently waiting and clicking the button about 6 times, this butterfly opened its wings and said, take your best shot.] After the first day, I heard music in the somber cooing of doves, creek water dancing over stones, a light breeze whistling through the tree leaves, and the sound of stillness as little girls fell asleep. Though I wasn't prepared for the holiness of early mornings ...

"There are a whole lot of historical factors that have played a part in our being where we are today, and I think that to even begin to understand our contemporary issues and contemporary problems, you have to understand a little bit about that history." Wilma Mankiller (First female chief of the Cherokee Nation) On our last afternoon at the Oaks, most of the Good Goers team climbed into a well-used old truck and headed down to the place where a concrete foundation had been laid at the beginning of the week. Near the edge of the creek, an earthen overhang sparkled with dancing reflections of the water, was the site where original Cherokee elders prayed. The foundation was the beginning of a worship center that would be built by other teams coming to the mission. Our task was to clear away brush and weeds and rocks. Within minutes of arriving at the spot the sound and smell of gasoline-powered weedwackers broke through the reverent silence. Each of us went at our own pace, ...

"You never know where a blessing can come from." Teena Marie On our 2nd full work day at the Oaks, there was a choice of three projects: to finish painting one of the dorm houses, to paint picnic tables or to organize the house that serves as a clothes closet for the mission. Okay, it's not really a whole house, more like a large shed. And "organize" might be too big a word for unpacking, sorting, and sizing about a kazillion pairs of underpants and socks. When it comes to "organizing" however, my Sweetie considers himself a world champion. I would say that I run a pretty close second but some of you may question the veracity of that statement because of the stories you've read about my propensity for clutter. While the rest of the Good Goers team grabbed paint brushes, Sweetie and I sequestered ourselves across the campus. The closet is full of donated items from bedding, to jackets, to shoes, to towels, to jeans and backpacks. And did I mention ...

"One's destination is never a place but a new way of seeing things." Henry Miller The forced replacement of Cherokee Indians from Georgia to Oklahoma was aptly named The Trail of Tears. Not just for those who made the trek, but also for those hearts that break a hundred years later upon hearing the story. In my opinion there is no better place to live than the US of A. That said it doesn't take away some of the black spots in the history of our great country. It is estimated that over 4000 of the 15000 Cherokee who were transplanted to what was called Indian Territory (in the present day state of Oklahoma) died on the march. Standing on/near the spot where so many Native American people ended their tearful journey made me weep with shame. "I fought through the War Between the States and have seen many men shot, but the Cherokee Removal was the cruelest work I ever knew." ~ Georgia soldier who participated in the removal On Wednesday (Oc...

"No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow." Lin Yutang We arrived at the Tulsa Airport this morning around 10:30 and set foot back at home around 9:30pm. One uneventful but very long day. An angel disguised as a Continental Airlines ticketing agent managed to get us on an earlier flight out of Tulsa which cut the wait in the airport by about 2 hours. Sweetie called the planes we flew on puddle jumpers. I call them sardine cans. Flying today is all about getting from point A to point B with few frills. But we made it home safely and that's really all that counts, which is easy to say now that I've stretched my legs and gotten most of the kinks out. I know I promised tales of our adventure and I will try to recap the week in the next few days. I've seen and learned many new things. I stretched some muscles I didn't even remember having. Some of my beliefs have been challenged. We met so...

Just got the password for the Internet this evening. I'm really too pooped to write much. My idea of blogging as the week progresses has come to a screeching halt. All I can think of is to crawl into bed and rest my weary feet. The team was split into two groups today. I was in the half that finished painting one of the dorm houses - 3 women, Sweetie, and a 9 year old. After spending so much time with a paint brush in my hand last spring, it came back to me pretty quickly. We've still got trim to do which I could cause me to say "ugh" but I've learned painting is a lot -LOT - easier than what the other half of the team did. They got the concrete assignment. And it wasn't just pouring concrete. It was hefting 80 lb. bags on and off a truck just to get them to the right spot. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have lifted one 80 lb bag, let alone a whole pallet full. I'm feeling pretty grateful tonight that I didn't get picked for that team. There is som...

First Good Goers meeting to find out how the week will go. "B" our guide for the afternoon. Overlooking the field where the Union Army camped for about 6 months. The original Spring House constructed where the Trail of Tears ended. No one has explained yet why they stopped here. Resting after a lengthy hike through the woods to the creek. Arts & Crafts after dinner.

"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in affliction and to keep himself unspotted from the world." KJV James 1:27 Fr/Br Georges told me last night that when God calls you, you know it. You feel it. I won't deny I feel parts like my life have been Divinely orchestrated. Then there was also that time, when I was sure God put something before me, and like Eve with the apple, I tasted it. I learned a lot from that experience and it put me on roads I never would have traveled on my own. But I'm not sure it was God that did it. So I still have the question, how does one know if one is "called" to do something by God? Part of my experience is that things sort of fall into place. And while there has never been a lightening bolt in the sky to point the way, I have experienced little signs of reassurance. For the last week my email, the readings in church, time spent in therapy and listening to music, the th...

"A thankful person is thankful under all circumstances. A complaining soul complains even in paradise." Baha'u'llah Sunday. 7am: So I was standing there in front of the wall to wall mirror in the bathroom of the Ramada Inn. Can't decide if the lighting is especially bright to show up all imperfections or to just wake up weary travelers. My hair wasn't looking so good. I knew the TSA had a requirement of 3 oz. bottles. I knew they were supposed to be tucked into a 1 quart ziplock bag. What I didn't know was that you were only allowed 1 of these bags. Yes, I was trying to pack minimally, but a girl still needs way more than ONE little bag to hold her cosmetics, shampoo, creams, lotions, pills, sunscreen, bug spray, etc. (Normally I wouldn't be carrying bug spray but it was on the list of things to bring. I'm really hoping I don't need it but who knows, maybe Oklahoma mosquitos haven't heard yet that the seasons are a changin'). Before I ...

Spent the day in the company of Fr/Brother Georges. His St. Luke's is a beautiful church and like the St. Luke's where I worship at home, mostly peopled by an older group of people. But there are some kids there and they flocked to Georges who hugged them and blessed them and welcomed them to the altar. As usual, Georges' heavily accented English was a little hard to understand but his message was still the same. God Loves You. After church we went to Georges' new house. I couldn't help but think how proud my father would be of his "adopted" son. It was a good day. Now it's time to crawl into bed and get a good night's sleep. I have no idea what to expect of tomorrow and the week ahead. That's the point isn't it? To welcome what lies ahead with a heart full of love. I'm ready. Today I'm grateful for friendly people with lots to say. I'm grateful for good food and good company. Stay tuned. Merry ME

"All shall be well. All manner of things shall be well." St. Theresa of Avila Two Gumbas on the Park 'n Ride bus I'm not sure why it is but sitting in an airplane all day is pretty tiring. Well, we did have to hike a few miles from one concourse to another in the Charlotte airport, so I guess we did get some exercise. We got smart by the time we got to Houston - grabbed one of those carts that beep, beep down the crowded hallways. Not once, not twice, but three times. Sweetie's hip was beginning to tire and my foot giving me a fit. Yessiree, we're going to do just fine at the Oaks - if our assignments are along the lines of answering phones! I have to admit I've had a few what in the hell are we doing moments. When we left home, a Nor'easter was brewing. The rain stopped long enough for us to get up into the air and above the weather. There were a few bumpy spots along the way but my stomach only flew into my throat once. Tulsa, from what I can tell, d...

I'm not sure I can really call today's junket an adventure. Going through an on-line ticketing agent my Sweetie, who loves to get a deal, found us a flight to Tulsa, via Charlotte, and Houston. Just a little bit of a round robin route. We found out yesterday when picking our seat assignments (which couldn't be done til 24 hours before which basically meant all the good seats (i.e. free) were taken.) We will be sitting in what the airline refers to as "choice" seats. Mainly because we can choose to pay $26.00 a piece or not fly at all. And in case you're wondering, the answer is yes. We do have to pay for checked luggage and probably a bag of peanuts and a coke. Except for the soda, this shouldn't be a problem. We have stuffed carry on luggage to its maximum capacity and I have enough snacks stowed away that should we get lost enroute, we will not starve. It is a little surprising that I'm sitting hear writing on the computer when normally I'm runn...

"To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven." Eccl. 3: 1-8 I'm typing this post on a MacBook which I have had for almost 2 years. I won't say my arm was twisted but without my nephew's nudging, I probably wouldn't have bought it. I know how to turn it on, write/save documents, import/export pictures and scope out the world-wide web. Beyond that, I have no idea what an app is or does. I hate the way you can move your finger up or down across the screen to get to different screens. I had to have a pimply-faced but technically-savvy teenager at the Apple Store turn that feature off for me because I was continually hopping places like the Easter Bunny without a GPS. I never knew where I was going, how I got there, or how to get back to my document. I don't own an Iphone or Ipad. I don't want to depend on something smarter than me that isn't human. I had a friend once who would rather "fight than switch" from ...

"Every goodbye makes the next hello closer. If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you must be aware that I have said a lot of goodbyes in the last few years. Actually, I think I've said more than the average number of lifetime goodbyes. Quick see ya laters Angry F U's Silly Ta ta's and Deep heartfelt, won't see you again til we meet in heaven farewells. Let me just say this up front, I think goodbyes suck. I suppose there can be good goodbyes, but mostly, for me, they are less than good and teeter on being badbyes. I will probably interrupt this post for one more. One more that leaves me feeling weak in the knees and sad as can be. My baby sister is moving today. Not so far away that we can't see each other after an 8 hour drive (as opposed to my other sisters that require an 8 hour plane trip), but not right around the corner either. When I pull up my big girl panties and see the move through her eyes, I can feel her excitement. As she watches her be...

"Grief and gratitude are kindred souls, each pointing to the beauty of what is transient and given to us by grace." Patricia Campbell Carlson (Letter to a Friend) I've been collecting quotes for about as long as I remember. I've got journals full of them, and computer files galore. The same with recipes written on the backs of napkins, and cut out of newspapers. My intent was always to go back one day, put them into some kind of order and collate them into a book. Not an original idea, I know. And now the task has become so daunting that I'll probably just keep on collecting. One day my children will toss them out along with my father's minutia that I can't seem to part with. Adding a quote to one's blog isn't original either, unless you're the Bloggess and make up your own that go viral. But I like to share! The quote above came through my email on Sat. from gratitude.org's Word for the Day. The three G's - grief and gratitude and g...