Embrace The Suck

" A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. " Robert Orben After a whole post around the word "ubiquitus" I thought I was on a roll; that I'd finish up the alphabet and this month of letter postings and be able to move on to .... what? Numbers? I didn't realize it would be so difficult to write about V. Last Saturday I was caught between a "v"olley of "v" words. Like listening to a tennis match and hearing the thwack of the racket against the ball, then the swoosh of the ball over the net and it's kathunk as it hit the ground, for a few intense minutes I was caught in "v"eritable firefight of v's. My sweetie and my daughter were on a roll and I didn't have a pen to write the words down. Velocity, victim, voodoo, vagina, (No! I've already written about genitalia, I'm not going to resort to my own Vagina monologue! For this I'm sure you are grateful!) Vishnu, venial, Viking .... What they...

ubiquitous \yoo-BIK-wih-tuhs\, adjective: Existing or being everywhere, or in all places, at the same time. Ubiquitous is a pretty big word, even for one who tries to use supercalifragilisticexpealidoious in general conversation on a regular basis. However, besides fortuitously beginning with the letter "u" it was the dictionary.com word for the day on Wednesday, and for some reason I can't seem to get it out of my head. That fact alone makes it pretty clear I need a hobby! There are other "u" words that I could try to write about, like "u"mbrella, "u"ser-friendly, and "U"-turn. Yet none of them are quite as lofty sounding as ubiquitous. In reality, my only attempt at using ubiquitous in a sentence was something along the lines of: The ubiquitous use of cell phones has far surpassed my earliest prediction that it will never catch on. The problem with this sentence -even if I've used the word correctly, of which I'm not sure...

I doubt if anyone would believe me if I said the dog ate my calendar. Perhaps a few of my faithful readers would consider it a possibility that a certain black cat peed on my calendar, but that is stretching even the "power pee-er's" ability to soak reading material above his head. The calendar I use most often is on the back of the kitchen door - a good 5 feet out of his reach! So, in all honesty, I have to admit the fairly obvious reason I've not posted lately is not because of some animal's lack of manners, but my own lack of ideas. I really believed writing about the alphabet was going to be easy. Then I hit the wall. Like Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall (of letters, not of bricks) I fell off and am having trouble putting my "pieces" back together again!!!! I think the problem started the night I was supposed to write something about the letter "O". It so happened that this was the same night that Dad filled the commode with bright red bloo...

P is for penis - my dad's penis! Yikes! Never in a million years would I have believed that I would not only write the word penis in a place where all the world could read (if they chose to), but I'd associate the word with my father. Oh sure, I've known for a long time that my Dad has a penis - I didn't just fall off no turnip truck! But like most kids, even those of us over 50, I don't like to think of my parents as having or using their private parts. It always gets around somehow to the thought of my parents having sex, and I prefer to believe that all five daughters were daintily left in pretty pink baskets on the front porch by a long legged bird that smelled suspiciously of Vlasic pickles! Some of this naivete was dissipated in the waning years of my mom's life. As I was responsible for helping mom in and out of the shower and on and off the toilet, the care and upkeep of her privates was strictly utilitarian. After the first tremulous meeting, I was able...

Q would have to be for feeling a little "queasy." I believe I've mentioned before that when a person I love is being treated for a medical emergency where blood is a very real consequence, I sometimes get a little light headed. The lights get shimmery, the temperature in the room goes up by ten degrees, and the sterile curtained cubicle begins to slowly spin. I don't know for sure, because I am usually asked to leave the room as the color begins to leave my face, but I suspect the way to prevent this from happening is either to put my head between my knees and count to 100 as I concentrate of breathing in and out, or, worst case scenario, actually concentrate on the procedure being done - stand outside myself and think of it as a science experiment . This is not easily done when the experiment is being performed on my dad's willy. I chose instead, as I rubbed a sore spot onto his thin-skinned forearm, to focus all my attention on the screamer in the other room! Th...

Keeping with this theme, R is for recovery. The good news is that the afroementioned blood was not coming from my Dad's bladder. It appears to have been the result of a procedure done earlier in the week. More penis woes of which I won't go into. With the exception of some burning when he tinkles - duh!! - Dad seems to be okay inspite of the degree of indignity he experienced. I, on the other hand, took about three days to bounce back. I know what you're thinking. I have to say I completely agree with you. It's pretty narcissitic to want to tell you about ME after telling you what my dad had just endured. But here's a little insight I had into world of caregiving. Just a little bit more ... Merry ME

S is for Superwoman on Steroids Let's go back to the beginning of this story. I admit to already feeling a little testy when I walked into the house at 10pm, only to be greeted with "dad, wants YOU." (Picture if you will, the old military poster. You know the one with the scary looking Uncle Sam glaring and pointing a finger at "YOU," suggesting that it's your, and yours alone, loyalty and service he wants.). Then to come face to toilet with a bowl that looked like someone had been playing with cherry Koolaid ... well, let's just say, I didn't say, "oh look, we're having a party!" Perhaps I went into the night's events with a tiny little chip on my shoulder. Why me? I wondered. Why now? Well, Merry ME, because it's your job ... that's why!!! Feeling like you just want to go to bed and sleep til Christmas, is the reason, I believe, that God invented adrenaline. There are just some times, when a person needs to be jolted into ...

T is for Tying up Loose Ends Here I am at the end of my posting, but looking like I'm at the beginning. Is anyone but me confused? I expect that my readers are much more computer savvy than I am. I couldn't figure out how to change the order of the Parts I-V so that they descended rather than ascended, which made more reading sense to me. So I went into the post options and simply reversed the time of posting. It breaks up the reading of a long post and, in my opinion, flows better. What do you think? To keep this extended post in line with the others for the month I'm going to add some words that are fun to say. At least in my opinion. The fun, I guess, is actually on the on the tongue of the sayer! I've found it to be a little bit of a challenge to think of words without cheating - i.e. going to Google. My lists are usually a combo of both! For all you non-commenters out there have you tested your own word skills and added to the list(s) even if you haven't posted...

Today has been one of those days. "N"othing bad has happened, which in itself is a good thing. I just kind of feel at odds with the world. Like everyone else is driving on the right side of the road and I'm on the left. I'm not mad and I'm not sad. Just kind of blah. I haven't really been able to come up with anything fun to write about so I was going to leave it at nothing. Then, as often happens, I looked out the window over the sink. The birds have returned from wherever they've been, chomping away at the seeds in the feeder. And the blue jays have rediscovered the bird bath. Truth be told, they've probably been waiting for the bathwater to be cleaned and warmed! Well, I did the cleaning yesterday and the sun did the warming today. Is there anything more fun to watch than a bird taking a bath. Like people I've discovered birds have their own personal bathing rituals. The jays jump in, flap their wings, spraying water all around and jump out. Th...

I do most of my best writing in my head just before I fall asleep. Because I'm so comfortable I tell myself I'm sure to remember the great ideas in the morning and don't bother to get up and jot down notes. Naturally I wake up and rarely remember I even had a writable thought. Last night I had some thoughts on marriage. They were pretty profound even for me. But, as you've probably guessed by now, I have no recollection of any of them. And now it's ten o'clock, almost time for bed again and I've not posted anything. Sure my name begins with an "M" but I'm not going to exploit my already highly exploited opportunity to write the ramblings of my mind. Instead I'll opt for giving you a fun little word that was actually dictionary.com's word of the day. An "m" word - how's that for convenient happenstance. "miasma \my-AZ-muh; mee-\, noun: 1. A vaporous exhalation (as of marshes or putrid matter) formerly thought to cause ...

There have been lots of love songs written over the years. Some make you smile, some bring tears to the eyes of a true romantic. In my opinion, it's almost impossible to think of any song more poignant or right on the money that Annie's Song by John Denver. Perhaps Love , of course, runs a close second. Say what you will about John, but the boy knew how to put the song of his heart to music. I'm sure everyone has their own favorite love song and love song singer. Yesterday, a clerk in the grocery store was singing a Marilyn Monroe torch song as I checked out. You could tell by looking at her smile that she had memories of love on her mind. Tom T. Hall, who may not be known to anyone that doesn't listen to the Classic Country music station on cable TV, has also penned what is, to me, one of the finest love songs ever written. I know it's weird and I probably shouldn't admit this, but we tune into old time country station almost every afternoon. It baffles me how...

Perhaps, like me, you've never heard of a Kakapo. According to Kakapo.net it is " the world's rarest and strangest parrot . It is the "only flightless and nocturnal parrot, as well as being the heaviest in the world, weighing up to 8 pounds." It's kind of cute isn't it! I googled "K" animals because I wanted to find out more about "k"angaroos and "k"oalas. It seems to me that animal names that begin with the letter k abound in Australia. I wonder why that is? Besides the aforementioned "k"ritters that almost everyone is aware of there is the also the "k"ookaburra, echidna, biby, bandicoot and quokka. I realize they are not all"K" words, but still kind of fun to say. According to the enchanted learning website, in all of North America there is only one "K" animal - the not so well-known "k"ikjou" - a long-tailed, nocturnal mammal from rainforests in the Americas."...

"Babies are such a nice way to start people." Don Herold Even though I missed posting yesterday, I feel like I can combine I and J easily by offering up a few photos of Little Miss Ivy Jane and still be up to date. I realize it's cheating a little, but since I missed the first four days of April and already failed at the NaBloMoPo monthly assignment, I'm kind of making my own rules as I go along! When it comes to baby reporting, I'm at a severe disadvantage. I live on one side of the country and Ivy lives on the other. I haven't been close enough to monitor her inch by inch growth, but I have a feeling she is into full baby mode. I'd bet she's smiling at her mom and dad, and slowly, but surely, wrapping them around her itsy bitsy tiny finger. It's funny how babies have a way of doing that and parent's don't even know they are being manipulated. They don't begin to get a clue until the day when their sweet angel child who has turned two ...

Will they ever end? Hot, hotter, hottest, Merry ME

W hat are little girls made of? Sugar and spice, and everything nice, That's what little girls are made of. Robert Southey, English poet and historian "G"one are the days that " well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guest turns up without his teeth."* As a woman in my mid 50's I've grown in freedom and ability because of the courage of my fighting feminist foremothers. These ladies weren't satisfied with the barefoot and pregnant status quo. They were willing to take on a male dominated society to pave the way for women like me, and my daughter and my granddaughter. The right to vote, climb a corporate ladder, fly to the moon, go to war and even run for president are privileges I've never NOT known. I wouldn't want it any other way. However, in the last few weeks I've read about a disturbing increase in the fighting behavior of young wo...

The word that used to be uttered only by drunken sailors is now an every day word. I may be a bit of a Susie Sunshine, but I'm no prude. I've been known to cuss up a blue streak in my life. I am not proud of this kind of behavior, but I understand that when you hit your thumb with a hammer, there are only a few words that will actually make you feel better. The F-word being almost as good a remedy as a kiss from mom. Yet, even I was a little shocked to hear a young girl in the grocery line yesterday say to the older woman she was with (her mother?) "what the 'F*#!*' is wrong with you?" Yikes! I saw the same girl a few minutes later, waiting near the parking lot. Perhaps for the mother to bring the car closer for said younger woman to load the groceries in the trunk, who knows? I can only surmise that this girl was having a bad day. She was not smiling; in fact, I got the distinct impression she might punch an innocent bystander in the nose as easily she could ...

While making a mind list of the "e" words I know, I realized there are several I've heard but actually have no idea what they mean. Take "exegesis" for "e"xample. I really have no clue as to why that word is even taking up the space in my brain that could obviously used to remember where I put my keys. Dad actually used "epithet" in a sentence yesterday and I thought he was talking about his "epitaph" which made no sense to me at all. One of my all time "e" words has got to be "epiphany." I don't know when I first learned this word but it feels like it's been with me all my life. Weird I know. But the real reason I love it so much is because of the time many years ago (where does the time go?) Wendy was telling me she'd had an "ep-i-fanny!" I swear I can't say that word without smiling. Now I'm not making fun of my daughter who happens to have a Bachelor's degree in English so i...

Here are some of the obvious "D" words I could easily write about: Dad Daughter Daylight Savings Time Destiny Dreams Desires Dinner Dentist Doughnut Dog Daddy long legs But I recently got an email message from Women for Women International that I thought I'd share with you. I don't readily recall how I got on the mailing list for this organization but the messages are the kind I have trouble d"eleting. The pictures of the women and children are haunting. The stories "d"ownright sickening. Yet, somewhere among the ugly and challenging truth are tales of hope and resiliency. I don't know how that is possible. It just goes to show that there are two sides to every coin. The "d"ark side is tempered with light. "D"estructive forces are met with hope. "D"RC: For over ten years now, a war has been raging in the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC). To date, over 5.4 million people have been killed, and many more have been to...

1. Cool, crisp, cotten sheets. Just made for curling up with a good book or cuddling with your sweetie. 2. Icy cold, crisp cucumbers sprinkled with a dash of salt and pepper and drizzled with basalmic vinegar. 3. Crisp cotton towels, fresh out of the dryer, warm and fluffy. 4. Cold, crisp, juicy red delicious apple that crunches when you bite into it. 5. McD's french fries, hot out of the grease, crisp and salty. 6. A crisp and invigorating autumn air picking up and twirling brightly colored leaves. 7. The neatly pressed, crisp creases of a young Marine's dress uniform. 8. The delicate combination of a cinnamon, nutmeg, and brown sugar topped apple crisp. 9. The crisp and lively banter of of would be lovers. 10. The crisp clip clop of a horse's hooves on an ice covered avenue as the milkman delivers cream to his early morning customers. 11. The first page of a new journal, crisp, clean and pregnant with possibilities. 12. The layers of crisp crinolines under the debutant...

Not the breast kind of boob. I mean the kind that knows she has made ABC notes on a particular pad of paper and that pad of paper is somewhere in this house, but still she can't find it. Boob, blunderbuss, blockhead. That's what I feel like. I've just spent the better part of an hour - the time I should have used writing - looking and re-looking in every spot I could have put said paper. Then, just as I gave up hope, there it was, under the only stool I didn't turn upside down twice. Blunderbuss is a pretty good "B" word - appropriate and timely. But I woke up this morning think about Winnie the Pooh and his love of balloons, which matches closely my own affection for helium filled laytex smile makers. Even before balloon bouquets became popular I believed that big handfulls of colored balloons with curly ribbon tails would make perfectly lovely surprises that easily say, "I love you!" "I'm sorry," "Happy Birthday!" "Get ...

"Yes, there are two paths you can go by But in the long run there's still time to change the road you're on." Led Zeppelin National Blog Posting Month, (NaBloPoMo) the self-proclaimed "epicenter of daily blogging," has come up with a new strategy to keep bloggers blogging every day. This would indicate that I am not the only person who thinks having a computer journal is kind of a neat thing, but is too undisciplined to actually post on a regular basis. I thought blogging was going to be the beginning of my "journal"istic career. Alas, having a career also means having determination, persistence and willingness to work. I struggled through NaBloPoMo's challenge last November and when the month was over I was both proud of my ability to follow through on my self-imposed commitment, and worried that my vision of life as a writer was a little skewed. I come to understand that serious writers must set aside a time every day to write. Just as seriou...