I don't really know what bee has been up my ass, but I do know I haven't been or felt very nice.
For all my talk of being kind to others, I think I need to take a little bit of my own advice.
By then end of the afternoon, after fussin' and cussin' about most everything, I went to Sweetie's inner sanctum and asked for 10 minutes of silence. I sat in his chair, closed my eyes and prayed. I tried to breathe in serenity and breathe out my pissy mood. I think it helped ... at least for those 10 minutes.
Later it occurred to me that giving myself permission to step out of the frustration and into the quiet was an act of kindness. To the people who have to live with me but mostly to myself. Seems I rarely include myself when I get on these virtuous bandwagons about being kind and gentle and giving and loving. I wonder why that is?
My plate is plenty full these days. And I see the holiday season as a runaway train aiming right at me. There is a lot to do and I can't quite get my act together to get it all done. For example, there is a basket of unfolded, in need of pressing, clean laundry in the chair across from where I sit. It's been there for the better part of the week. I know it will only take about 15 minutes to tend to it, yet for some reason, it sits there taunting me. It's a toss up which is making a louder noise, the laundry or the dust piling up on the tops of every piece of furniture that doesn't have a pile of my stuff on it.
If I were talking to you, and you told me that, I think I'd probably say, put the basket in the closet, or write something that makes you smile in the dust and walk away from it, or "Just Do It" and get it over with, or cut yourself some slack. Look around you and notice what you do do and not what you don't do. Are you saying, La la la la? Well, if I gave myself that same little pep talk, I'd probably not be listening to myself. I think it's time for a change.
Maybe the golden rule should be tweaked a little bit to say, do unto yourself as you would do unto others. Kindness and charity really should start at home, don't you think?
Think I'll go take a shower and wash away a couple layers of pissiness.
Wishing for you a kind word and a gentle touch,