Embrace The Suck

Upon hearing the air conditioner is going to need some major repairs, a friend's father took a fall recently and is not so happy with his life, the garment industry (of which I'm ashamedly a part of) takes woeful advantage of overseas workers, then dropping a box filled to the brim with Size D batteries and watching them roll all over the floor, I noticed I wanted to sit down and weep. I'm grateful today for cold front that moved in yesterday and the mild breeze that wafts through my open windows. Merry ME Just when I thought my only option for today was to go back to bed and take a nap, I came across this video on FB.  Not much cuter than a piglet playing in a mudhole. Enjoy. MM

I noticed that I sometimes treat people (like Sweeite) exactly the way I hate to be treated. For me not knowing something that other's think is basic stuff is quite embarrasing. Being called on it even worse. That person thinking I'm a big dummy, and stomping around to prove a point,  even worse. I also noticed that in my own righteousness, a person's belief that (s)he is right and I am wrong messes with my head. I begin to doubt myself, to back step, to crawl off my pedastal. Cause it's pretty embarrassing to think you're right, then be wrong. I guess the answer is treating others the way you want to be treated. And treat yourself like you'd like others to treat you. Now there's an idea that sounds golden. Merry ME

I'm not very good at keeping secrets. Partly because I forget something is a secret to begin with. And partly because I get so excited about surprises. That's the reason I'm not one of those buy all year long for Christmas kind of people. When I buy it, I want to give it right away, not hold on to it for the holiday. Recently I had this idea. A surprise for someone. I was about to pop so I shared the surprise with someone else who said, I can help with that. That's when I noticed that the small surprise had turned into a quadruple surprise.  Cause when I sent the surprise to my friend, she had the fun of opening the box and seeing the surprise.  She worked on it for a few days. We traded emails and a couple of photos. When it was done, I had the fun of seeing it finished before it was mailed. I just got an email that the surprise is on it's way to the person who will give it to the it was intended for in the first place.  I'm all a-twitter with excitement. I...

Sweetie and I took his granddaughter to dinner last week. She's finished her first year of college and had enough of the America's Oldest City. She's a small town Northern girl, not too enamored of a tourist town, or a college that doesn't allow refrigerators in dorm rooms. In the conversation, Sweetie asked her what she likes to do. She whipped out her phone and showed us a couple of her doodling pictures. I noticed that doodling, like so many other things, has come a long way from the flowers that I draw over and over while put on a telephone hold.    A couple days later I saw this picture on a quilting FB site. Instead of doodles it a way of stitching  Zentangle® . It's like a black and quite crazy quilt. I like it. Today Alana Sheeren pointed FB artists and non-artists (that would be me) to " a practice of doodling to uncover and express what's going on in your  inner world, while having fun and relaxing." Check it out  http://drawsome.marab...

When my father and mother were alive they used to sit in the same church pew week after week. About four rows back, the one with a small nick in the wood. I don't know how they decided on that particular pew or how many years they sat there. After Dad started using a walker, then a wheelchair, we moved to the first pew so the extra equipment wouldn't be in the way of people carrying crosses and torches. I kept that spot until after my sister moved. Then I moved into the back.  I like the view. Today I noticed that there was only one child in church. He was most noticeable because of how well behaved he was. Maybe 5 or 6 years old,  he sat quietly, no fidgeting. Before the offering I asked him if he'd like to help me pass "the little churches," typically a special offering that began as a fund for children.   When asked, he told me his name was Kyle.  He took my hand and didn't hesitate to follow me, a stranger.  Not shy at all, he said a quiet hello to e...

As I waited for the valet to bring my car down from the parking garage, I noticed 2 magnolia blossoms on the tree across the street. Enticed like those cartoon characters that are carried forward by the whiff of some great smell, I walked over, put my nose in one, and sniffed. Oh my! Oh my. What a fresh clean, after the rain, sweet, southern smell. What did you smell today? Merry ME

This afternoon as I was pulling out of the driveway to go to work, I noticed how pretty and green our front lawn looks. I still haven't gotten used to the lack of trees. My little maple tree needs some friends. Johnson's to the point in sidewalk making where he has to wait for a really big storm to see if the drain works before he adds one more piece of concrete. We need to do some landscaping, but at this stage of the game Sweetie and I haven't come an agreement on the final vision. He mentioned something about using hay instead of mulch. I said something along the lines of, HELL NO. Thus we're at a standstill. If we don't hurry up, it's going to be way too hot to play in the dirt. Unless, of course, we were dogs. Suzi Q learned soon after we got her that a whole behind the hedge is one of the coolest spots around. When Maizey arrived on the scene, she said, "let's forget the hedge, and just dig right in the yard. Suzi thought about it for about a m...

Sweetie and I drove downtown yesterday to hear some teenagers who have aged out of "the system". Kids who, at 20, have turned their lives around. Imagine, instead of just setting out on adulthood, they are picking up the pieces of a what was supposed to be a childhood. Their stories made me sad for their past, glad for their future, and really angry at a system that has gone so far astray. On the way there, while Sweetie was looking for a parking place I noticed some bright colors wrapped around a tree. So after Sweetie went into the office to do some business, I walked back down the street. Look what I found. My first thought was a homeless person had wrapped his blanket around the tree. But when I got closer I could tell it was kind of art project.  There's a big thing in town this weekend. Artists/entrepreneurs/innovators all vying for a quarter of a million dollar prize. I don't know all the details. People get to vote for the idea they like best ...

How awful it feels to hurt someone's feelings, especially someone you love, even if you didn't mean to do it. When I'm depressed I have a strong desire to get lost someplace where I can be alone and I don't have to think about anything, just wander. A book store. A fabric store. A card store. A plant store. This wandering often leads to spending money I don't have on things I don't need.  When the luster of stepping into the Messiah's shoes wears off, trying to save people is hard work. When I look in the mirror I see a person who isn't smiling. There is an art to self-portraiture that I don't have. Even though I've read Magic 8 Ball, more times than I can count, seeing it in print, in an actual magazine as opposed to on-line, made me feel very proud. I read it again, as if it were the first time.  Seeing little sunflower shoots pop out of the dirt and start to follow the sun while still wearing their seed coat, is like watching a magicia...

Tonight I noticed how quickly my stomach goes into anxiety mode. Actually, I've been there a few times in the last week. And, to be honest, perhaps part of the dyspesia was all the fresh, hot, delicious bread and real butter I ate at the Columbia House in St. Augustine. We were celebrating Sweetie's birthday and saying goodbye to his granddaughter who is finishing up her year at Flager College. Seriously folks, if you're ever in St. Augustine you've got to stop in at this restuarant for bread, black beans if you go for that kind of thing, and their 1905 Salad. It was a good night. We had no idea what had happened in Boston. I'm having trouble dealing with stuff like this.  Hiding under the covers is looking better and better.  However, I was reminded by my friend Sorrow that if you watch the news with the sound off, you'll see people running into harm's way to help. God bless people like that. No matter where you are tonight, I ask you to be the change y...

Yesterday I noticed that a baby's smile can make me weak in the knees and keep my sadness at bay. Today I noticed: It's time to quit trying to conserve energy and turn on the A/C. How cute little fuzzy puppies are. I should have played in the dirt before the temperatures reached into the 80's. A butterfly flitting around the front yard. Since all Monarchs look alike, I don't know for sure, but I like to think it's our child coming home for a visit. What have you noticed today? Merry ME

Today I'm noticing how sad I feel.  I just read that a blog friend's mother died last Sunday. That on the heels of hearing 2 other people I care about have lost a parent. All lived long, full lives.  There will come a day when that clumsy phrase penetrates the grief. For me, news of a parent's death taps into a sore spot in my heart.  I feel sad,  tired, and, in an odd way, lonely. If it's true bad things come in threes, then the string of deaths must be over. Hopefully I'll have some time to regroup.  That's the problem with my grief, like the ocean's tide continually returning to the shore, it keeps coming back. Sometimes in a slow gentle wave, sometimes like a tsunami.  I looked for the root of that axiom on Google, but found very  little.  I did find, however, that things that come in threes are supposedly funnier, more satisfying or more effective than other numbers of things. I didn't know this was a "writing principle,"  but I t...

I called Apple tech Services last week. I was convinced to upgrade my operating system. "It's pretty much the same," said the nice young man on the other end of the line. "Plus you'll get three months free service, so if you can't figure something out, all you have to do is call back." He was right. Mountain Lion is pretty much the same as Snow Leopard. And really the things that I've noticed are different are not reasons to go to GQ (General Quarters for all you un-military people). However, it's the little things that are driving me nuts. For instance: I noticed in order to scroll down, I have to move the screen up. I noticed the blogs on my Top Sites used to get a star by them when something new was posted.  Now there is no indication whatsoever that makes today's post different from yesterdays, even though there it is probably brand new. Would somebody please tell me why it's necessary to "upgrade" something that is w...

I noticed tonight how much alike it is rubbing lotion on Bella and Miss Mary after their bath. I think it soothes both of them. I realized it soothes me too.  That healing thing about touch, it works both ways. Reach out and touch someone, Merry ME

Today I noticed a strong desire to help someone I don't even know. Before you read this please hop over to my friend's blog and read what she has to say about money, or lack of, the value of a person's talent, and how you can't put a value on some things, like a smile. Go ahead, I'll be here when you get back. Okay, so now you have a little bit of an idea of where I'm coming from. I read a similar story this morning, (see below) and felt sad for Mitchell and frustrated that I don't have the kind of bank account that let's me write a check to help. I would be the first person to say, every little bit helps, that I don't have to do it alone. In fact, the more people who donate the more people will have that happy feeling you get in your heart when you lend a hand to someone in need. To tag on to Luminary's idea of making something that someone will buy so the money can go towards getting Regan a new smile, I'm going to offer up the ...

I meant to write this yesterday but got sidetracked. That happens a lot! I had great plans to get up and get moving. I wanted to clean some around here, then do some work at Mary's before we went to the doctor in the afternoon. Let's just say I didn't jump right out of bed when the sun came up, so my day's start was pushed back a couple of hours. When I opened my computer I had a message that a man from church had died. I knew it was going to happen. He's been in hospice for a couple of months. I'm glad to say I visited him twice recently, and both times he was alert enough to recognize me and smile. I feel like I did everything right, although I wish I'd started visiting before he was dying. I learned a lot about him from some of the pictures his son had compiled. He had been a B17 pilot over Germany in WWII. I noticed , too late, that by not asking my elders to tell me their story(s) I've missed a lot. I suggest if you know an old person, don...

Today I was very aware of how writing can be both exhilerating and defeating at the same time.  I spent 2 painful days working on a story that was not turning out like I wanted it. I noticed how often I told myself, "I can't do this" or "I'm no writer." It helped to go back, just one day and see my published story in Sasee Magazine - proof that I can do it and I am a writer. Probably the only thing worse than getting the bones of a story down, is the process of re-writing. Then again, it's kind of a mystery where it's going to end up. Thanks to all of you who read Magic 8 Ball and left me comments here and on FB.  Every writer should have a cheering squad like I have. Merry ME P.S. Susan Buchanan. We've got to find Genie's Naval Academy story. The theme for the June issue of Sasee is "Belle of the Ball." The deadline is April 15th. I'm going to look through Dad's boxes again. Wouldn't that be cool to have it accep...

I've been trying to write a story about my horseback riding adventure. Trying being the operative word. Trying, struggling, fussing, erasing, ..... After it turned midnight on the East Coast, when most sane people are in bed, even crazy writers, I decided to check to see if the April issue of Sasee Magazine is out. OMG! It is! And just in case you can't hear me tooting my own horn wherever you are, you should know I'm pretty excited. I noticed, even though I knew it was coming, being published feels grrrr-eee-aaa-ttt! If you are so inclined, check it out at sasee.com . My story is called The Magic 8 Ball. If you like it feel free to leave a comment. Now back to the grindstone. Smiling, Merry ME

As I stood at the kitchen sink, I saw a teenage cardinal sitting on a branch right in front of me.  I noticed  his soft breast feathers still kind of greenish/brown. But his tale taking on the red hue of his adult persona. I also noticed a squirrel jumping from the pool pump to the bird feeder, hanging upside down, stealing a bite to eat then going back to the pump. I noticed a vulture of some kind standing on the sidewalk of a busy street, waiting for the cars to go by so he could eat breakfast. I noticed how full and beautiful the church was today. Bells, tamborines, drums and rattles certainly made a joyful noise on this Holy day. And I just noticed another plump yellow and black caterpillar crawling up the wall, searching, I believe, for a place to attach so he can go to sleep for awhile. Although I doubt sleep is really part of the amazing transformation. Seems like a hard of hard work goes on in the process of changing. I hadn't noticed before these critters...