Friday, May 3, 2013

Letting Someone Else Do the Crying

Anyone who knows me, knows I can cry when I'm sad, or when I'm happy, or when I'm man (especially when I'm mad),when good things happen or bad things happen and when the Holy Spirit washes over me. Show me something sweet and I'll tear up. Show me something icky and I'll fill a bucket with big, bold tears. I'm no longer shy about crying. It's just the way I'm wired.

Yesterday I noticed, other people crying.

My friend, Mary, got weepy when talking to me about "elder care." She asked me to be with her when "her time comes" to shut her eyes.  She told me about the vision of Jesus her mother had just before dying. "I hope I have that," said Mary, tears running down her face.

Even though I feel a little like Andrew in Touched by an Angel, I don't have that much experience with people passing over. Still I am pretty sure that each of us has a "knowing" when it's our time to return home. I have nothing scientific to base that on, just a strong belief that it is so.

If I can be, I'll be with Mary when her time comes. And like she asks, I'll hold her hand and close her eyes.

Later that same day, I spent time with Bella. Poor little girl, has her first cold. The whole shebang - running nose, stinging eyes, slight fever, can't breathe and feeling crappy.  As I massage lavender lotion into her skin after her bath, she let me know she didn't like that I was being so slow. She wanted to go to bed, and she wanted her mommy. So she did what babies do. She cried. The first time, in three months, I've ever heard her really cry. It was pretty pitiful.

Sometimes, the only way you can express yourself is to let the tears fall. Like watching another person yawn, when I'm around a person who is crying, I usually shed a tear or two myself.

Thinking I should own stock in Kleenex,
Merry ME


Constance said...

Being able to cry freely and let out what is in your heart is so important at every age.

it's when I can't cry because of family teachings to block feelings and ignore pain or deny it, that it all becomes so stuck and gains momentum with every other blocked tear, that becomes so hard to deal with in future years...

Let it out NOW so that it isn't so insurmountable later on.

I think your friend is right, we do have a 'knowing', and it is also soothing to know somebody will be holding our hand and closing our eyes when we go...


AkasaWolfSong said...

Mary...I think we are totally Sisters from another Mother...I cry about EVERYTHING. Really. And like you I don't care what others think or say...I cry when I cry...while moving I cried...cried because I no longer was able to lift and carry which meant I had to give up control (yeah, that one!) and just being overwhelmed with it all. The morning of the move I went out and said goodbye to the land and the animals and stood there and sobbed...even knowing I was going to new beginnings didn't have much sway.
*sigh* But I'm over it now and looking forward to new things.

I hope someone will be with me like you will be with Mary if you can. What an Angel of Mercy you are! I too think we know when it is our time, always have.

Poor Bella...I always felt so badly for the wee ones when they were sick because they can't tell you what is ailing them most. It's good she has you Mary, who understands her needs.

Speaking of Kleenex, I hear you on that one!

Have a great weekend Sister and know you are loved by me...