Tuesday, June 30, 2015

At times.......

.....I felt like a little lost child. Mom in hospital again, me sent to a relative somewhere. I got angry and left that all behind me at 17, knowing I would not have to deal with it ever again. (foolish me.) Pretty much, I looked out for me over the years just as I did when still a child.

.....Mary felt like a little lost child too. Cowering in a corner, put down by her father, left un-protected by her mother. She grew up, left, raised a family, stood up for herself, reinvented herself and then came home to this house and spent 20+ years caring for mom, then dad. Tough duty. And now me.

For over six years we lived here with dad and I felt it necessary to stand up for Mary in answer to her fathers constant badgering, and demands. He didn't like me taking his Mary away from him and only tolerated me here because without me Mary would not have returned. We left once and I engineered a return when I witnessed the pain Mary was in as well as her father. They both suffered greatly.

Life was OK for a while, then returned to the same old BS from her dad. Luther could be kind on occasion, but he was always only one breath away from denigrating his daughter .Mostly when I was out of the house or they had gone off somewhere together. Hearing later from Mary the latest jab to her or put down about us, he and I engaged in several verbal battles, much to Mary's sorrow. Why put this out into the open now? This is no secret to family members, especially those who came along and listened to his vitriol. It is however a way to express how protective I have been toward Mary, and she toward me.

We found each other later in life. I am so pleased and grateful that we have. I really believed our battles were behind us. But here we are again, side by side sharing a love neither of us has known before. Laughing in the face of sorrow even while we feel deeply the sorrow dealt to us. We have weathered stormy relationships with family members, dealt with our own demons, been rich and been poor.

We have cried on each others shoulder, felt anger at the injustice of it all, felt relief and joy at the out pouring of love from friends and family, and still say our "I love you's at bed time."

The spoken word cannot do justice to the beauty and love that is Mary. To be spoken of in the same  caring breath as Bella is an honor. See Mary's post below. But then, Mary has honored each of us with her loving kindness.

To the Moon and back a thousand times over. All my love to you my LOVE.

1 comment:

MamaJoe said...

This is what love and marriage looks like....the giving and receiving.....the protecting and encouraging. I am glad you found each other and I believe it was no accident. Instead you are each a gift to one another from now until the end. Thanks for sharing Jack.