Thursday, June 11, 2015

before i lose my mind, let me just give you a piece of it

it seems to me that my life has been reduced to incidents. one right after the other. no relief but of the comic kind. today i want to report on three incidents that recently occurred which involve someone we all know and love.

first; me and mary going to the bank. we are in the car, i am driving. we are sitting at a red light about to turn left onto a street which runs along the side of mary's bank with an entrance off of said street. as we turn i ask mary where do you want to go, in here to the drive through or around the corner to the atm. oh to the atm. i look and see four cars at the next intersection waiting to turn right where i need to turn. i glance to my right and see three things.a) the car in the entry way is no longer there now. b) i am almost past the entryway. c) there is a car bearing down on me from the rear. i re-act. i pull the steering wheel hard to the right and slip up the entry way (it's just another way to get to the atm, right? Suddenly mary slams into my shoulder. she is screaming jack whats wrong with you, you better let me drive, your wild. i'm not going to let you drive any more. **WAIT A MINUTE,.YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LET ME DRIVE ANY MORE? OH YEAH I'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.** i think to my self. (hey i'm losing my mind i'm not crazy!) to be continued later.

second; me and mary going to the brake shop. we are in the car, i am driving, we are on a four lane highway at a red light in the left hand turn lane watching the cars come from a side street and turn left right in front of us. across from us are two lanes of traffic not including the turn lane also going left. in the outer lane of the opposing traffic is a semi which has just rolled to a stop for the red light  i glance to my left and realize i am not up far enough to turn directly into the entry way to the brake shop. the turn arrow turns green, i shoot across on my left hand turn and into the entryway at an angle, in front of the semi. mary is ducking for cover, screaming jack are you out of your mind **NOT YET** you better believe i'm driving from now on. **RIGHT** to be continued later.

third; mary and i have come to enjoy laying in bed side by side each using our lap top. several days ago i found a program on my lap top which i had not added. nor did i think had the IT guy who services my lap top. so, i removed it. wait a minute, it's still listed there with the other programs but it has a little red X by it. now my lap top is wonky. nothing works as it should. this can't be happening to me. i had just lost my other lap top to spilling coffee on it when i fell asleep. i was bereft. it's saturday or sunday night, i now have to wait one or two days for bahador to open his shop. monday comes. i am on the phone at the crack of 10:am. no answer. hmmmmm, where could he be? i tried again, still no answer. my hair cutter is in the same strip mall. i called her. have you seen bahador? nope! i drove up there **ALONE**, he was not there. hair dresser if he comes in please call me OK! after 6:pm i gave in and gave up. another night without "my precious" resting on my turrmy.
mary says, why not go in your office and use the pc. i rose an eye brow at her. ok then you can use mine. apple. tuesday, no success, wednesday, success bahador is there i can go and wait he says i have an appointment to go to and i'll be back by three. ok. mary is going out to meet an old friend from san diego who she has not seen in 30 years. a girls gab fest. will you drop off my lap top with bahador on your way to the beach? yes! phone rings. the house phone i know it is mary. it is. the place is locked up tight and no sign of him. i'll drop by on my way home. phone rings, the house phone i know it is mary. it is. still no one there. she drives home. i am losing my mind (early). i find on our dining room table amongst the books for the garage sale (do not ask what garage sale. just do not go there) i find "the tao of willie" by willie nelson and turk pipkin. maybe i can get into this.
folks. willie should be president of these here united states. he is brilliant, a true patriot, he holds no punches , and he can sing.

As i started to read it was clear willie has more than a passing knowledge of the tao te ching. he is also a jokester. i start reading the jokes to mary. she is howling with laughter as am i. several jokes and much laughter later she says stop, no more. we needed that. i was up all last night reading this book.

Seriously people this is a book to read.Willie Nelson is a whole lot more than a guitar picking red neck from Texas. That reminds me. Did you hear about how you know when you're a red neck from Texas?                  Catch ya later.

Oh and as for the first two segments. It's all passed, she's forgotten by now that SHE IS NOT GOING TO LET ME DRIVE ANY MORE.

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