Tuesday, June 7, 2011

"This, surely, is the most valuable legacy we can pass on
to the next generation. Not money, houses, or heirlooms,
but a capacity for wonder and gratitude,
a sense of aliveness and joy.
Why don't we work harder at it?"
Arthur Gordon
A Touch of Wonder

Grammy, Ashley, Little Gracie

Daughter and Dad

Today I'm grateful for time spent with my soon-to-be-a-mother-granddaughter. I got sick the day she arrived so mostly I stayed quarantined in my room while she spent time in the mole hole with her father. When they are together the 24 hour clock has no meaning. They eat, sleep and play when they feel like it.

I'll be the first to admit that there has been concern over this pregnancy. Times have certainly changed from when my sister was an unwed mother back in 1967. She was sent away to a "home" and even though she grew noticeably bigger with each visit no one EVER spoke of it. Perhaps my parents discussed it in the confines of their room but it was never shared out loud. It drove me quite literally crazy. With that history and wanting only the very best for my granddaughter, I was one of the ones who cried at the news. In my opinion, babies just should not be having babies. Now some could argue that 16 going on 17 no longer a baby makes. And I was only a few years older when I had my first child. Of course, I was more mature and capable - I was married for goodness sake!

Yesterday Ashley and Grammy went to get our nails done. I listened with both my heart and my ears as Ashley talke about life as she sees it, about the baby's father (affectionately called by this open-minded grandmother the "sperm donor"), about graduating from high school, about adoption vs keeping the baby. I learned a lot. Not a lot I like, but who am I to judge? While I don't see the same picture Ashley does, I remembered that this was a time to bond, not pull the generational-Grammy-knows-best card. She'll learn, as all new mothers do, that life as she knew it will never ever be the same. It might be better, it might be worse, but it will never be the same. I've got to trust in the foundation laid by her parents, extended family and in all the prayers that are being said for mother, baby and yes, even the sperm donor. I don't know what God's plan is so why should I even try to guess? I settled for a few hours of girl time. I'm grateful, really grateful for that.

I also learned, to my surprise, that red nail polish is completely "out." It's what her mother wears. I was willing to let Ashley pick the color as long as it stayed in the "pink" family. While I really did want to "match" I wasn't quite ready for turquoise toes!

I'm also grateful for the continuing theme of gratitude I found over at Patty's blog. Some of you may have traveled over there from here before. Like me, Patty was a 24/7 caregiver. She blogged about her life and relationship with her husband who lost his battle with lymphoma in April. I've never actually met Patty, but her words and spirit have lifted me up, and been a light for my journey when I couldn't see past my own two feet. She is a good example of how to be a caregiver even when you don't have any idea what you are doing. You roll up your sleeves and throw yourself into the task at hand. You cry, you laugh, you get fed up, but you always come back to your beloved with your best foot forward. And now as she grieves, Patty writes of joy and gratitude. God bless her.

Today I smiled at Barry who thought he was going to sell me a car; at Chuck, the Hair Whisperer, who is still beaming at being the main character in one of my stories; at finding a frame at Hobby Lobby that didn't cost an arm and a leg; and at my silly dog who has expertly trained me to give her a treat every time she goes outside or comes back in.

Smiling all the way to the bottom of my heart!

Wishing for you joy filled moments punctuated by thank yous,
Merry ME

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Maybe she is more grown up than as we imagine her, as still just a little girl. She's beautiful, and she appears to have her head on straight. It may not be an easy road, but Ashley has chosen her path and my hope upon hope is that it all works the way she hopes. She's doer and that says a lot. Stay strong, Miss Ashley. ld