Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Tolerance and Tenacity

Borrowing from the Queen:
"A wedding anniversary is the celebration of
love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.
The order varies for any given year."
Paul Sweeney

Even though Sweetie and I have several anniversaries to choose from today is not one of them. But I did have a moment this morning when I wondered if not only the "new" in newlywed was a stretching things a bit, but that we had perhaps turned into "oldy" weds in need of some marriage counseling.

For those of you who don't know us, Sweetie and I look sort of alike, but our similarities end with the white hair and round tummies and proclivity to hang out in baggie jeans. We have recently discovered about ourselves that I am the ying and he is the yang. Which basically means we are polar opposites. I admit I'm kind of (okay, a lot) of a clutterbug and he likes things to have in an identifiable order. I'm kind of (okay, a lot) dramatic and he is cool in most situations except when a "putz" driver is in front of him. I want to do things "my" way, he wants to do things "his" way. Especially when caught up in the decision making and heavy lifting of redecorating, our differences have made for some rather animated conversations.Like this one:

Sweetie: How about if move this there and move that over here?
Merry Me: No, I don't like that.
Sweetie: Okay (with a rather drawn out "O".
Merry Me: What? What's wrong? I know what you mean when you say okay like that. You mean, "yes dear" like you want to throw the hammer at me or worse, walk away and let me do it myself.
Sweetie: (Trying a different approach) Well, how about we try this?
Merry Me: Do you really think so? I don't think it will fit there.
Sweetie: Let's measure.
MME: Where's the tape? I just had it. Did you take it?
Sweetie: There it is behind you.
MME: Oh, yeh. I just put it there didn't I?
Sweetie: Ooookay. What were we going to measure?
MME: Oh, for god's sake. Just eyeball it. Are you okay? Why are you breathing heavy?

We take a few minutes break then get back at it.
Sweetie: The bookcases really don't go in this room.
MME: Why not? That's where they've always been.
Sweetie: I think they should go in that room.
MME: Well, I don't think so, but let's try.
MME: You can't move that without taking the books off the shelves.
Sweetie: Sure I can. Watch.
MME: OMG. I can't look.
Sweetie: You have to look, I need you to help direct where I'm going.
Sweetie: Let me go first.
MME: No I need to go first.
Sweetie: NO, I need to get into the room first.
MME: (Heaving a huge sigh, that might be misinterpreted as "you don't have an inkling of an idea what you are talking about.) Well, you do it then, and I'll just stand here and watch.

A while later with bookcases in place in the den.
MME: I kind of like that.
Sweetie: Even though it was my idea, I like it too.
MME: Will you help me hang these pictures.
Sweetie: Where's the tape measure?

And round we went for a couple of hours, before I looked at the man I love and asked if we had survived caring for my dad only to verge on divorce because of a missing tape measure. He laughed and assured me things would work out.

  • I'm grateful for the law of physics that says "Opposites attract"
  • I'm grateful for a living room that is almost put together, that the bookcases fit in the den, albeit a little tight, and, in the words of Goldilocks the desk moved to its 3rd location, looks "just right."
  • I'm grateful for some "signs" that are just too woowoo to write about.
  • And I'm jump up and down excited about my family tree (to be continued).

As I oiled the wood and cleaned the glass on pictures that have hung so long in the living room that I rarely ever look at them anymore, I smiled at the history we have, the pictures and I - and the history we are making my Sweetie and I.

Wishing for you reminders of days gone by and the new look of the future,
Merry ME


Anonymous said...

Life works out in the process of Life Itself. All you (we) have to do is trust that it will, and allow it to. CWG, NDW
This seems "right on" to your blog this morning. I could not have said it better myself! :-)

terri st. cloud said...

loved this! a great description of what relationships are really like!

Molly said...

I love that you are laughing at life again :)

I'm still out here, just dog paddling to keep up at work, so even when I'm missing, I'm pulling for you.