Friday, March 1, 2013

Day 60 - Noticing

I have begun to realize that all this "noticing" is making me more observant. The more I notice, the more I see. I'm paying more attention to things I might not have bothered with before. Is that they mean when they say be in the moment? Dad used to tell me to slow down, that I went to fast. He reasoned that is why I forget so much.  I have noticed noticing things has slowed me down, if only for that  moment of seeing what's in front of me.

Today I noticed:

1. A new chrysalis. Yesterday when I checked on the progress of pupa A, I noticed all the other caterpillars that had been on the bush the day before were gone. I looked around the bush and on the ground to no avail. Then I noticed that there was one caterpillar hanging on the wall. I tried to move him to the bush thinking he'd like that better. He was stuck by the tiniest of black sticky spots. He sort of curled himself into the letter "j," looking like he was settling in for a long winter's nap. This morning, there it was. A tiny green chrysalis. I can't believe how fast it happened. It looks like a thimble with a top on it.

I also noticed that it is a lighter green than the first one. I wonder if it gets darker with age. Both have a line of gold where the thimble top meets the bottom, as if adorned for the afterlife like a pharoh's sarcophagus.

Here's the bad news. The temperature is supposed to drop below freezing tonight. Do you think I should let Mother Nature take care of things, maybe those little cocoons are nice and warm? Or should I tape a sheet around the bush as protection against the chill?


Mary the Fair Hartmeyer
Circa 1955
2. Letting the dog out this morning with my eyes, still half-way closed, I noticed a picture of Little Me, aka Mary the Fairy Hartmeyer. I probably pass the pictures 15 times a day. This morning, for whatever reason, it caught my attention.  I looked at the little girl and felt a bucket-full of love for her. I felt her sweet, gentle countenance, and smiled at her smile. Is that haircut a precursor of styles to come?

My almost 62 year old self wants to sit beside the picture taking hassock and soak up the nearness of her. I want to look into her green eyes and talk to her. Holding her little hand in mine I'd say:

"I hope you know how pretty you are, how wise, how good. I know.
You are here for a reason. Trust your heart. Hold on to your dreams.
Believe in yourself when you think no one else cares.
Kindness and love are your special gifts. Always share them with others.
I'm sorry you were scared. I'm sorry you felt abandoned. I'm sorry for all the tears you've cried. 
I'm here now. We're going to be okay. Come with me. Don't you worry about a thing."

There is something magical about today noticings. The little green package all wrapped up awaiting the butterfly to come, and the little girl with her plaid topped socks and striped umbrella, probably on her third birthday, on her way to becoming me. 

Merry ME



3 comments:

Mary said...

I love all the 'noticing' that you are doing! And i don't know about putting a sheet around the bush to protect it, that would be my impulse too!

AkasaWolfSong said...

I think I'd leave Mother Nature to deal with her creations...

Little Mary is so adorable...and to reiterate your heartfelt words,

"I hope you know how pretty you are, how wise, how good. I know.
You are here for a reason. Trust your heart. Hold on to your dreams.
Believe in yourself when you think no one else cares.
Kindness and love are your special gifts. Always share them with others.
I'm sorry you were scared. I'm sorry you felt abandoned. I'm sorry for all the tears you've cried. I'm here now. We're going to be okay. Come with me. Don't you worry about a thing."

Gosh Mary...I'm so crying over this. What a sweet and poignant
self-blessing. You are my much beloved sister/friend and I'm so lucky to know you! You are a Brave Girl in every sense of the word!

xoxoxoxo

Merry ME said...

Akasa,
Laughing here. I couldn't stand it. I put a cotton lined cup over the one on the wall and a paper bag over the one on the tree. John seems to think we can cut the branch and bring it inside. When the butterfly emerges if I'm the first thing it sees it will think I'm his mother. Hope it's me and not the cat!
me