Sunday, November 1, 2009

Gratitude Day 1

"If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is "thank you," that would suffice."
Meister Eckhart

Here it is November 1st. How is it possible that this year is so quickly coming to a close? Where has the time gone? With Halloween behind us we are on the fast track through the holidays to the New Year. There is much to look forward to; a lot of stress still to come.

November is a busy month. From county fairs to Veteran's Day to college football rivalries, to Thanksgiving overeating to Black Friday and 5am Christmas shopping, there is a lot of activity to pack into a short month. For those in the Blog world November is also known as National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo). Jenni James of AntiJen fame is the one who introduced me to this test of blogging endurance. There is no defined theme, the only requirement to participate is to sign up then post something every day.

I've never had much luck with posting every day but I think I'll try it again at least for this month. I think I need to focus some on gratitude. I try to be grateful for the blessings that fill my life. Although, if the truth is told it's often easier for me to gripe about what I don't have than be grateful for what I do.

There for awhile everybody was writing in a gratitude journal. Is that a habit that caught on or passe now? Is it nothing more than the spiritual equivalent of the diet du jour we all try in an effort to feel better about ourselves and our bodies. Does making a concerted effort every day to count your blessings really make you feel better like Oprah promises? I'm going to give it a try. And being the multi-tasker that I am (ha!ha!) I'm going to kill the proverbial two birds with one stone. I'll be grateful and succeed at NaBloPoMo at the same time. I'm going to dedicate the next 30 days to seeing the blessings around me and being thankful for the gift of sight.

- - - -

Today I'm grateful for my Sweetie.

Yesterday was our anniversary and neither of us remembered or acknowledged it. Four years ago we pledged our lives to each other standing in the tiny kitchen of our tiny apartment. It was the culmination of an intense spiritual weekend for both of us. I'd been at a weekend retreat known as Cursillo and Sweetie spent a night in the Emergency Room not knowing what was wrong, undoubtedly fearing the worst.

We'd been living together for a few months. I thought I was okay with that, but sitting under a big oak tree, searching my heart and listening for answers, I decided it was really important to me to be married. I made a single-handed decision that I needed a commitment, if not a ring and a date. I knew there was the very real possibility that Sweetie was going to balk, not because he didn't want to be in a lifelong relationship with me, but for other reasons he had stated clearly from the first time we'd me. Sort of a "been there, done that, never gonna do it again" thing.

Sweetie checked himself out of the hospital to attend the closing ceremony of my retreat. He had been instrumental in my going to Cursillo. He knew what it was all about. He wanted to be there with me and for me. Just thinking about it now gives me chills. It was not only a foolhardy thing to do, it had "I love you" all over it. Of course, it would have really pissed me off if he'd died being so cavelier.

On the two hour drive home we had a lot of time to talk. I was full of the "Spirit" and he was still feeling kind of puny. We shared parts of our experiences, laughing and crying at the same time. Once home, we worked together to fix a light dinner. For some reason, the time seemed right. Maybe I just knew I had to get my epiphany off my chest and lay it on the table in front of us. I explained, then said I want to be married.

He said, "Okay!" What a way with words he has!

Wanting and doing are not always the same thing. There were then and still are some sound reasons why we can't just go down to the county courthouse and get married in the eyes of the state. But that night, in front of a pot of peas bubbling on the stove top, we said "I will and I do" to each other and to the Divine One we called upon to accept our vows. There was no fancy dress, sweet smelling roses or champagne. If I had planned a marriage ceremony I might have done it differently but not much. Not everyone agrees this was a "real" wedding but it worked for us. Sometimes I forget and get caught up in the finger pointing and accusations.

Tonight, however, I smile as I remember the promises and the love that we shared then. I think of the things we've been through together. The storms we've weathered have rocked our boat, yet we still sail forward towards the sunset each of us with a hand on the rudder. This is a good thing.

Every day we are together, even when I neglect to acknowledge it, I know that my Sweetie has blessed my life in more ways than I can count.

Considering myself one lucky girl,

Merry ME

1 comment:

Fire Byrd said...

What a wonderful blessing to start your month of gratitude. made me well up reading it.