Friday, November 13, 2009

Gratitude - Day 13

"Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot."
The Hausa of Nigeria

In typical morning fashion I asked Dad how his night went. I try to get out of him how he is feeling but he's let me know on more than one occasion that he doesn't expect to ever feel good again so there's no point in asking him because it just reminds him he feels lousy. It's rather convoluted but I'm learning not to say, "Good morning, Dad, how are you?" Instead I say stuff like, "how did you sleep?" [I don't know, I was asleep.] or "how was your night?" This morning his answer was "Lousy." Like fingernails on a black board this kind of response is enough to set a daughter's teeth on edge.

Like a fool, I bit. I took the conversation to the next level instead of asking what he wanted for breakfast. [I don't know. What is there? As if the menu ever changes.] Why was it so lousy?

I didn't sleep a wink.

Did you take a sleeping pill?

No when I couldn't sleep it was already too close to morning and I didn't want to be too sleepy when I got up.

Oh so now you're sleepy because you didn't sleep.

That's right.

He did not go into detail (my first reason for gratitude today) but offered that he had lot of things running through his mind. This can only mean that there is soon to be another discussion about how I'm going to live after he's gone. Good Lord, please keep you hand across my mouth.

I also had a little trouble falling asleep last night. I found I was running through the alphabet trying to name fruits. Some letters, like A, B, C are fairly easy, i.e. apple, banana, cherry. But I struggled with Q, U, Y and Z. Surprisingly, like a bolt from above, quince came to mind as I turned my computer on just now. I really don't have any idea what a quince is but I feel like it is a fruit people make jelly out of. Quince jelly, right? But unless you go for adjectives like ugly kiwi, yummy guavas and zesty lemons, I defy anyone to come up with fruits that starts with those letters.

My friend Sorrow posed a good question in yesterday's comment section. Is a nut a fruit?

But enough of that ....

Even Pollyanna might find it hard to find something to be glad about or grateful for after watching the movie from Netflix that has been in the house for 2 weeks. I turned it on while I did my stretching. [Speaking of stretching, I should feel grateful that my leg is getting better, but in my humble opinion, laying down on the floor and lifting my legs up and down and to the side, does nothing more than exacerbate the problem. This is contrary to my doctor's assurances that stretching is the ONLY way I'm going to get better. ] Turtles Can Fly is a 2004 film written and directed by a Kurdish Iranian filmmaker. It was the first film to made in Iraq after the fall of Saddam Hussein.

Knowing this I should have guessed that it was going to be grim. I mean how can a movie that takes place in a refugee camp, on the eve of the American invasion, with orphaned children as the main characters collecting mines to sell for pocket money be very uplifting? Naturally it addresses all kinds of war questions - religious/ethnic rivalries, no schools, rape, kids carrying guns bigger than themselves, wounded and crippled people living in tents and bombed out tanks, and the haunting of the soul sof those who live through it all.

Indeed I am grateful that neither I, nor my kids, nor anyone I know has ever had to live in such an environment. Still, my heart aches that there are children in this world where this is a way of life. I'm noticing that this is kind of a recurring theme in my gratitude posts. As Sorrow has so aptly pointed out, now that these people and situations are no longer invisible to me, what am I going to do about it? What can I do about it?

Today, I will thank my lucky stars for green grass, blue skies, and a life that is way way better than I give it credit for.

Wishing for you on this Friday the 13th good luck, good friends, good news and above all else a world at peace,

Merry ME


Molly said...

See the movie Arranged if you haven't already. It's a peach. It can be played on your computer so you don't have to wait for it to come.

Anonymous said...

I am grateful that "dad" realizes he is becomming more confused, more forgetful. Him having this understanding makes life easier for everyone that we can now remind him of his forgetfulness or confusion without thinking we are heading into a fight. And therefore hesitant. Perhaps now having been given permission to do so, all of us will find more to cherish than to condemn.